That eternal conundrum. Will I ever find my soulmate? The right life partner for one person is not necessarily compatible with someone else because we are all such singular individuals. Human adults all express that urge to search for a suitable partner, it is a biological imperative, but because we are such complex creatures it can be hard to find the right one.

It would seem logical that in a busy cosmopolitan society where we spend almost all day in an environment saturated with members of the opposite sex, many of whom are also looking for a partner, that settling on a mate would be relatively easy. Well, it would be if we weren’t all so picky.

After all, settling on a life partner is a big investment. There is a lot at stake so it’s not something to rush into. There are sacrifices and economic consequences arising when two people pool their lives and begin to share a future. Then we may have to weigh up (consciously or subconsciously) the suitability of the other person as a potential parent. Do they have the right genes to pass on? Will they be a good provider? Will they be a loving parent and a good role model for the consequent offspring?

So, what constitutes a soulmate? Ideally, this is a person who is suited to you in temperament and generally has the same worldly outlook and beliefs. Similar attitudes, similar values and similar ideologies are powerful factors that can dictate your suitability for each other and the promise of a positive, harmonious and synergistic future together. If two people experience a soul connection when they meet, they experience an easy connection immediately. They just know.

So, what are some of the signs that you have met the right one for you?You bond immediately over so many things

You have an intense feeling that this bond is ‘right’

There is mutual respect

You have the same values and moral stances

You can just be yourself

You’re totally comfortable in their presence, no need for pretense or best behavior

You have similar goals or vision for the future

You don’t have an urge to ‘change’ them

You accept their funny little habits

When the first flush of passion fades, deep down, you are best friends

Of course, all relationships need working on, nurturing, lest they grow stale over time but soul mates don’t lose sight of that. They regularly reconfirm their bond as the relationship matures. There may be differences in your goals, maybe academically or in career choices, but soul mates support their partner, challenge them to aspire further, and celebrate the wins.

So, how do you find the right partner? First, it is important to understand basically what characteristics you are looking for. Then you have to put yourself out there, open to making connections. Perhaps on a match-making site, or at your place of work. An excellent way to meet people who like the same kind of things you do and who have a similar vision is to join social groups, like a sporting club, a conservation movement or a hobby group with plenty of avid members. Join a choir or drama group, start volunteering to help disadvantaged people, join a bible group or a political movement. Actively follow whatever is your passion, or explore new interests, and you will meet like-minded people there.

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