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Category Archives: Health and Fitness
How To Be Motivated Every Day.
If you are like me, you must be having those days you call ‘bad days. Mondays have always been the victim of being a bad day. These are those days that you don’t even feel like waking up. And when you do, you don’t feel motivated to do anything, regardless of how important it is.
When this happens, you will probably end up procrastinating a lot, and sometimes you will hate everything or everyone around you. Many things can lead to being demotivated, these include; When you lose someone, or something you loved, e.g., job, divorce, death, etc.
Too much on your to-do list
Fear of failure
Self-doubt
Lack of self-confidence
Poor time management
Burnout from jobs
Easy Ways to Be Motivated and Stay Motivated Every Day
The first step in solving any problem is to understand the root cause of the problem. The issues above are just but a few of the things that may demotivate you. It is essential to understand the root cause of your lack of motivation so that you don’t address the symptoms rather than the problem itself.
Once you know what is bringing you down, you can adequately find solutions. But don’t beat yourself so much when this happens. It is very ok to have some down days. We cannot function the same for all 365 days in a year. Some days we will feel low. How you deal with such days will determine how successful you become.
Here are some simple steps you can take to stay motivated every single day permanently:
1. Practice Positive Affirmation
Motivation is hugely determined by how we feel inside. It is the manifestation of how we think about ourselves. When you doubt your abilities or have little or no self-confidence in your abilities, you will most likely feel demotivated to handle your daily tasks.
Therefore, you should practice saying positive things to yourself. A simple daily mantra can help you get your motivation to handle tasks. For example, you can tell yourself, “I can do it.” When you say this repeatedly, you will automatically be optimistic about your abilities to handle the day’s activities.
2. Take Some Time Off
Burnout can kill your motivation. If you want to stay motivated for the entire day, you need to take some health breaks from your core activities. This will help your body and mind to re-charge. When you work for so long on a task, your productivity will reduce. This will compromise the quality of your output.
It is vital to take some time off and meditate alone. For your peace of mind, you can take a few minute’s walks in the forest or a quiet place. This connection with nature will revitalize your mind and help you stay motivated to handle what is thrown at you during the day.
3. Avoid Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the number one killer of motivation and the lead cause of procrastination and failure to tackle our daily tasks. We often put things to another day when we feel motivated to do it. This is a bad move because you may never feel motivated enough to do it.
Especially when you are doing what you don’t love, here, you should stop thinking of delivering a perfect job, but just do what you can do within the shortest time possible and get feedback on it. That will motivate you to work on your next tasks.
4. Divide Your Activities into Smaller Achievable Sub-tasks
How long is your to-do list? If it is longer than one A6 size page, then that is the source of your demotivation. Also, more significant tasks seem to demotivate people and make them feel lazy to handle them.
What you should do is to divide the bigger task into small sub-task. And just work on a few of the tasks during the day. Achieving these smaller goals will eventually make you feel good and motivate you to work on even more complex tasks. Prioritize your tasks from the most important and urgent to the least urgent. Then work on the most important ones first.
5. Take Action Immediately
Lastly, taking prompt action on your tasks at hand is the only way to stay motivated. When tasks are left untouched, they will pile and kill your spirit. Therefore, it is important to work on your to-do list first thing in the morning.
Also, work on the most challenging tasks, or those that you are likely to procrastinate. As Brian Tracy says in his book “Eat That Frog,”. We should consider the most challenging task as a frog. They should be eaten first. When you wake up, tackle the “frog” first. Don’t be confused by the tadpoles (small and easy tasks). Concentrate on the complicated tasks first. That way, you will be motivated the whole day because you will know that you have handled the most challenging problem of the day. This will motivate you to handle the other smaller jobs with enthusiasm.
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How To Navigate A Relationship When Your Partner Struggles With Mental Illness
Human beings are complex, social animals. We evolved to live in groups and form relationships within our communities. Most cues for these aspects of life come to us naturally. However, that doesn’t mean that forming and maintaining relationships is easy. While finding love is one of the most talked-about aspects of romance, it is the sustenance of said love that is most difficult.
There are various aspects of a successful relationship; there is the chemistry at the initial stages. It is impossible to find love without chemistry and so it is essential. Once you’re in the relationship, understanding each other comes into play. It is true that with chemistry, love, and understanding, relationships can be happy, healthy, and long. Life is not as straightforward and often there are a lot of external factors that affect relationships. More often than not these factors are out of the couples’ control and so it all comes down to being patient and taking the right decisions.
One such factor that can place a strain on relationships is mental illness. We live in a fast-paced world that doesn’t allow us enough time or energy to rest and recover. Mental illnesses are a part of our lives and there is no denying it. While there is a lot more understanding and insight into what these illnesses are and why they shouldn’t be stigmatized, it is still quite a challenge to navigate them in real life. Mental illnesses are hard on the people that are affected and so it is essential to get a diagnosis followed by help and support. It is very important for family, friends and partners to support people suffering from mental illnesses.
How does one ensure that they’re providing their partner with the right kind of help and support should they suffer from an illness? The most important thing is to know that the situation is central to your partner, not to you. However, it may be affecting your life, it affects their life more and they deserve your love, respect and support more than anything else. If you love your partner and are willing to do the work to make your relationship work, half the battle has been won. You can start by trying to find out more about your partner’s mental illness. Find out what they suffer from, talk to them about how they manage the illness, and see if there is anything you can do to help them manage their life better. Seek information about your partner’s diagnosis from reliable sources and avoid misinformation. You can also look into mental health organizations or support groups relevant to you and your partner. Knowing about the symptoms and implications of your partner’s diagnosis can help you create a good healing environment for them.
There are certain situations, however, where the best thing you can do for your partner is step back and let them have some space. You might want to be proactive in dealing with their diagnosis but it is a very personal matter, so being able to step back is just as important as being able to step up in this situation. Remember to treat your partner with respect and not disregard their opinion in how to handle their own diagnosis. While there are situations where your partner may need you to act on their behalf, this should not translate to you dictating their life. Taking decisions when your partner needs you to and taking decisions all the time are two very different things and should be kept separate.
Your partner may not always know that they’re suffering with a mental illness. They might start falling sick after you’ve been with them so keep an eye out for signs of them suffering. Don’t take any new conflicts in the relationship at surface level, see if there is a reason why your partner is stressed and upset. You need to be mindful in relationships and so be mindful of what you say and hear. Is there a change in the way your partner acts? Is there a change in their appetite? Has their lifestyle altered without explanation? Has your partner started to self-medicate with alcohol or nicotine? Keeping an eye on things like this can allow you to understand what state of mind your partner is in and if they need help from you and/or a professional. Medication and therapy go a long way when it comes to mental illness and an early diagnosis could spare your partner the pain of being misunderstood and untreated.
It is not easy to navigate life with a mental illness, remember that when with a partner struggling with one. The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and find out what they need. The time following a diagnosis can be embarrassing for your partner. They may not feel like themselves for a while afterward so be mindful of their insecurities and doubts. If your partner asks for validation, give it to them because they need it. If your partner needs to be reassured of your feelings towards them; don’t take it personally. It is not a lack of trust in you but in themselves.
There will be times where you’ll do everything right and still not get the result you want and you have to learn to accept that. It takes time and patience to come up with a way of living that works for your partner’s healing path as well as your relationship. Be kind and patient. Remember that your partner is dealing with a lot of pressure and stress that may not even be related to you so don’t take things personally. The most important point when everything else has been taken care of is self-care. You need to keep yourself in good health and a pleasant mindset. Remember to take care of your own well-being as well because this can only work if both parties are moving towards good health. You cannot pour from an empty cup so continue to work on yourself as you work to ensure your partner’s healing and comfort.
Love is strong and overcomes a lot just as long as you put in sustained effort. Having a mental illness doesn’t have to be the end of the line for your love story.
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How to leave work at `work`
The instance of burnout among professionals and students has increased in recent years. The problem seemed to become more potent with the onset of the pandemic. In a world where we already had trouble separating our personal and professional lives, we couldn’t have possibly stood the test of a pandemic too.
We have always been advised against mixing our personal and professional lives, and we have almost always failed to do so. While it may seem easy enough to do, it is actually easier said than done. With the prevalence of the ‘Hustle’ culture and the widening gap between minimum and livable wages, the lines between your job and life are blurred beyond recognition.
On hearing this, one may think that they have set proper boundaries. You may even feel the same as you read this article, but have you really set these boundaries? Do you not check your emails and answer work-related calls and texts after work and on-off time? Do you not bring back baggage from work and find yourself seething about it hours later? Do you not end up working at home despite being off the clock? If so, then you certainly do not separate work from your personal life.
Being able to separate the two is indeed a privilege reserved for people who either can not work outside of their workspace or who can afford to refuse to say no without losing their jobs. However, you can do certain basic things to avoid blurring the lines more than they have been already.
The first thing to remember is that you work to live a good life, not the other way around. People often start believing that their work is the only important thing in their lives. I agree that your job is essential and that it is why you’re able to live the life you’ve always wanted. However, you mustn’t let it overpower your entire life. You should not feel guilty about taking time off or planning vacations. The capitalistic nature of our society makes people treat their jobs as the only important thing in life, so they often place work above all else. A very toxic trait that has been bred in the minds of working professionals today is the glorification of the workaholic life. People carry the workaholic tag like a badge of honor on their chest rather than a crippling weight on their backs. Amid messages promoting working yourself to the bone and putting hard, laborious work above efficiency, people lose sight of reality and start equating their burnout to success. Hard work is undoubtedly the key to success, but that does not in any way take away from the importance of being efficient; just because your way of working is difficult doesn’t mean that it is the best.
You must never stop exploring and learning as long as you’re able to. Many people seem to get so tied up with work that they forget to do things just for themselves. We’re so caught up in trying to earn money, and we attach monetary significance to everything. It is vital to continue to have hobbies and interests outside of your job. It isn’t necessary to be really good at something; you can learn something new from scratch. Join a club, attend a class, a writing workshop, a painting class, pottery, anything that suits your fancy. If you don’t want to go out, you can read, dance, sing, and write anything you like. If you don’t want a hobby, join a club, a walking club, hiking club, book club, or anything that makes you feel happy. The point is to know that there is no age where you should stop working on yourself and your happiness.
Overworking and work-related stress have long been a reason for unrest among families. We spend a large part of the day at work. Much of our time and energy goes into it, so it is only natural to carry some of that energy into our personal lives. It is impractical to ask people to be utterly indifferent to the circumstance at work. Human beings cannot be completely unaffected by their surroundings, so it is natural to be receptive to the highs and lows of work life. Often these things bleed slowly into our personal lives and lead to quarreling and disturbances. While it may not be possible not to discuss your work with your friends and family, it is a good idea to keep the conversations to a minimum. You can come home and express your distress over something that happened at work, and you can even ask for advice. What you should not do, is take out your frustrations on people who do not even know what is bothering you. Communication is the best weapon to combat almost every vice out there. If you can communicate your work-related frustrations to your family, everyone involved will better handle the situation at home.
You may know someone who tries all of this yet cannot succeed at leaving their work in the workplace. You might even be someone who doesn’t find it easy to separate the two. We are taught a lot of covertly toxic things about work while we’re growing. We are taught that if you do not succeed at one job, that you’re a failure. We are taught to waste our time trying to achieve impractical goals rather than learning to move onward and upward. We hear maxims like ‘Do or die,’ but we’re rarely taught how to handle anything other than success and stellar results. We carry all this to our workspace and then wonder why we have an unhealthy relationship with work. Few people have the opportunity to learn how to live their life and work at the same time. There is no shame in being unable to cope with the pressure of work. It is perfectly normal to struggle to cope with work, and if you ever need some help with it, you could always go to a life coach or a therapist. Ultimately, the most important thing is to remember and cherish your individuality and life. Yes, work is essential, and yes, a lot rides on it but not everything.
So plan your work around your life, not vice versa, and you should be golden.
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How To Face Life’s Challenges and Overcome Adversity
You cannot avoid adversity in life. Even the most sheltered and privileged individuals find themselves in adverse conditions at some point or the other. Adversity is not convenient, and it often throws a wrench in your plans, but there is no way around this aspect of life. You have to accept that as a part of life and focus on the consequences of these situations rather than worrying about the purpose. Some say that adversity is to be considered a test of strength, and they may be right. However, I feel like we glorify adversity, too, much like all else in life. Adversity is an inconvenience that you often cannot circumvent and should be treated as such. There have been various studies that have looked into the ways in which one can overcome adversity, the foremost being having resilience.
You must remember that not every single inconvenience in life is going to be the reason life ends. It is natural for things to go wrong from time to time, and you must accept that as soon as you identify a problem. Remember that you have been through difficult situations before, and you’ll go through more of them in the future. You are strong enough to deal with whatever has been sent your way. That is not to say that you need to deal with adversity alone. Talk to your friends and family. Acknowledge and accept their help because you are not alone in your situation. More often than not, we start to take pride in how little help we ask for, but no one gets a medal for doing things the hard way. You will not receive one either. Make your life easy by asking for and accepting help when necessary.
The second thing to focus on is your surroundings. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you. Your surroundings can affect your mood as well as your response to adversity. You are vulnerable in times of adversity, so the effect is even more pronounced. The right guidance at the right time. People who accept mistakes and understand how they are an essential part of life Supportive people who favor your success. While your surroundings are greatly influenced by the people around you, it is also dependent on your own mindset. Write about your feelings, and make sure you check any negative thoughts you might be having. Keep track of how you feel and how you’re responding to your surroundings. Do not indulge in self-loathing and try to be reflective instead. Understand your situation after recovering from its initial shock and move on from it when you’re comfortable doing so. Accept the situation and start to look for ways to solve your problem. It might seem like a herculean task, but the best thing to do in times of adversity is to get busy. Put your energy into making things better, and you’ll thank yourself once the situation has been resolved. In the midst of all this, do not forget to express your feelings through your writing. Eventually, you’ll be able to track your progress over time, allowing you to remember that no matter how bad things get, you can always make it through.
The modern world is full of wonderful technology, which makes our lives easier, but it is not without its limitations. One major limitation is the introduction of one more aspect of life for us to worry about. This could be anything from your social media presence to the inability to regulate how available you want to be to the people contacting you. While one may deal with these reasonably well in good times, it may not be as easy to do so in difficult times. Take a break from technology and social media in whatever capacity suits you. This ties in with the fact that you are the most important person in your life. Prioritize taking care of yourself before you take care of others. Try to take nature walks or sit in the fresh air if it is possible for you. Research shows that outdoor activities and immersion in nature reduce stress, so try to get some sunlight every day and follow your body’s natural circadian rhythm to allow for recovery.
Life has strange ways of teaching you lessons you don’t realize you need. It is important to remember to keep your eyes and mind in times of adversity to allow the learning to continue. You might see your relationships more clearly in your time of need. You can identify your own habits that may have been holding you back. Invest in your own development. Make time for yourself and make improvements to the quality of your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so even if you are more inclined to care for others, know that you can’t keep doing that if you’re not feeling happy and satisfied.
There will always be adversity in life, and you can be sure of that. However, none of these are situations you can not survive. The adversity can result from your actions, or it can be entirely out of your hand. The key is not to take it personally. Don’t waste your time wondering why you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Take this time to introspect and work on making sure you don’t have the same problem twice. Things will be out of your control sometimes. There will be times when the only thing to do will be to let go. In situations like that, learn to practice satisfaction and detachment. Don’t get comfortable in your misery, and it is easy to become complacent to your situation. The challenge is to take every adversity and face it head-on with the clear intention to overcome it. Know that you are capable, and you’ll surely succeed.
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How To Stop The Spiral Of Toxic Thoughts
The downward spiral is a fancy name for that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that doesn’t let you be at peace no matter how hard you try. In more psychologically relevant terms, the spiral refers to the feedback of negative thoughts and emotions, often as a result of a trigger. Downward spirals are often misunderstood and lead to advice such as, “Stop thinking so much” and, “Have you tried to chill out?”
Popular culture often represents this spiral as an endearing trait of a neurodivergent character that their love interest can fix in quick and, in my opinion, unimaginative ways. However, the downward spiral is not that and is wildly misrepresented like most things related to mental health.
The truth is that the sinking feeling that accompanies these thoughts is not endearing in the least. The thoughts don’t just pass over a person like a soft breeze, they hit you like a tidal wave, and it is exhausting to keep afloat. We eventually give in to the fiend and find ourselves recalling painful incidents that we’d normally like to forget. We pick on ourselves and become the enemy that we would otherwise avoid. We force ourselves to consider every possible thing that could go wrong in life and start to walk down the slippery slope of despair. The cyclical thoughts of repressed emotions and experiences, negativity, and self-loathing go on and on till you can either shock yourself back to reality or seek help from someone who can do that for you.
Why do we find ourselves in this place?
The answer is not as complex as one may assume. The downward spiral is often an amalgamation of our guilt, humiliation, anger, and gloom. We often dwell on the wrong things in life. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. It doesn’t matter if we’ve made peace with it. It doesn’t even matter if you’re happier now than you were when these things first happened. Once there is an inconvenience that triggers you, the thoughts are sure to follow. Ask yourself, what is it that bothers you during a downward spiral? Is it not things that hurt you as a child? Is it not something/someone that isn’t a part of your life anymore said to you? Is it not the same insecurities you usually tuck away in a rarely visited corner of your mind? Is it not thoughts that you usually recognize as useless and untrue? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then know you are not alone. We are humans, and it is our nature to ruminate. Introspection and reflection are a part of our life. The only thing to be looked at here is the way in which you go about it.
The most important thing to remember in your journey towards peace is always being mindful of what you do. Understand what you’re doing, be deliberate in your efforts, and know your motivations. The trajectory of your life is yours to decide, so it is your job to treat it in a hands-on fashion. Understand what leads to you spiraling and be prepared. Practice forgiveness towards yourself and others. It might be difficult to forgive people, and I do not recommend forcing it. However, being forgiving towards yourself is non-negotiable. Remember to be kind to yourself if you find yourself getting stuck in a spiral. Everyone makes mistakes, and yours are neither unique nor novel. You should be content with the mundane nature of our existence. Years of human life and countless people have made it nearly impossible to create a new mistake. Even if you make a new one, know that you won’t be the last to do it and live in peace with that knowledge.
We often process loss in ways that are not healthy for us. The downward spiral of negativity is one such unhealthy coping mechanism. Some say that it is oddly satisfying to vocalize every negative emotion you’ve ever had. Others say that self-medicating with alcohol, nicotine, and such help. They may be somewhat right about both, but it is essential not to turn it into a habit. If you go down the path of self-loathing and spiraling every once in a while, it is a normal derivative of the kinds of lives we’re living. However, if you do this at every minor inconvenience, then it is unhealthy and requires intervention. You can’t keep destroying your health and life because you’re having a bad time. Don’t self-medicate, don’t indulge your negativity, and try to hold onto the happier memories in your life. If you can’t check yourself as you start spiraling, talk to someone who can tell you precisely what you need to know. Write down reminders and affirmations for yourself so that you can hold onto your reality rather than getting washed away in the momentary wave of anxiety. Seek counseling if you feel like the spiral might be eating away at your life. It is never too late to ask for help.
We all wish there were an easy fix to everything in life, but there rarely is. We are complex beings, and it is only natural to experience complex emotions. Do not beat yourself up over how you feel. Try to understand why you’re there and start moving forward. If you feel like you can’t deal with the emotions alone, talk to someone you trust. Seek professional help if required and do whatever it takes to live your best life. You deserve acceptance, love, and peace. Know and accept them and be determined to achieve serenity. Sometimes you’ll fix a bad day with some sunlight and exercise, and others will need something stronger. Regardless of how you get there, the end goal is to be at peace, and you will get there sooner or later.
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How To Develop Inner Strength
The world has been in turmoil for over a year now. We have collectively lost a lot including people, routines, jobs and much more. In times like this, it becomes imperative to maintain our inner strength. Trying times always come with challenges that seem nearly impossible to defeat. However, it is times like this that make us stronger. This is not to say that suffering is noble somehow. Suffering should be avoided at all cost, everyone that is lucky enough to have the gift of life should also live without suffering and subjecting others to it. While this is a noble thought, suffering is inevitable.
What can we do in times of suffering then? Should we escape, or should we endure?
Escapism is the most commonly picked answer in such cases. It is easy to escape, takes minimal effort, and thus is more convenient of the two. Escapism, however, doesn’t end suffering. You may drink away your pain for a day, but you will not end it. The only way to end suffering is to endure. Survive in the face of adversity and make your situations better. There are no knights in shining armor in real life. As corny as it may sound, you have to be your savior.
What can we do to be our saviors?
It is a loaded question and needs to be answered with logic. Consider the challenges of life like endurance tests. One requires the right mindset, knowledge and supplies to be able to ace a test. Consider inner strength as your supply in the test of life. You can still pass these tests with low inner strength, but it may be detrimental to your mental health. You don’t just want to survive; you want to thrive, so the first thing you should work on is developing inner strength. Inner strength includes the generation of a will to live to the fullest instead of settling with mere survival. Having a positive outlook on life can be the difference between barely surviving a setback and coming back stronger due to it. No matter how good or bad a situation is, it will pass, so there is no point worrying.
When life throws curveballs at you, they don’t just come in intangible forms; every once in a while, the challenge will come in form of people. When that happens, you have to remember that you should do everything to protect yourself first, then others. So, if you need to distance yourself from a person who emotionally drains you, do it. Remember that the most important person in your life is you, and you will find self-preservation coming to you a lot easier; knowing when to stop and draw a boundary allows for cleaner solutions, even for the messiest problems.
Due to the history of toxic positivity in the human world, many people equate inner strength to apathy. The apathetic mindset not only hurts the people around us but also our journey. Emotions are natural, healthy even, so don’t hide them. If you feel upset, then let yourself process the situation before trying to deny it. Let yourself be angry, upset or annoyed and then get over it. It is better to feel your emotions and then let go, rather than holding onto them till the point of implosion.
This brings us to one of the most important aspects of inner strength and crisis management. We must learn to let go. This may sound like vague advice, but it is quite possibly the key to inner peace. Learn to let go of everything, right from materialistic wares to anger and frustration. You should absolutely let yourself feel your emotions, but you should not ruminate in them too long. Process your feelings, come to a conclusion and take action. If you are upset about something in life, then don’t belittle your own emotion, feel it, throw yourself a pity party if you must but then look for ways to change where you are. Is it a problem you can solve? If not, then your work is done, and you can let go of whatever it is. If you can solve it, then move on to step two and make a plan. You must remember, however, that making plans is seldom enough. You must make a plan and stick to it, which brings us to the next step: acting on your plans. Being able to let go or take action as and when needed allows us to make better decisions even in times of distress.
Strength and resilience are not something you can learn. They are a result of your circumstance and how you deal with said circumstances. I agree that some people may inherit their strength and resilience from their families, but it is not genetic transmission that leads to it. It is the things that you learn through watching the people around you navigate the narrow lanes of a crisis.
The point is that even if you don’t feel solid or resilient now, you can inculcate them in yourself through conscious effort. Make an effort to be more kind to yourself, understand your feelings and emotions, and put them before others as and when needed. Learn to identify your allies and talk to them. You can endure on your own, too, but as mentioned above, our goal is to thrive, not just survive. Know when to ask for help and let the people around you rise to the occasion.
The development of inner strength may seem like too much work, but this is work you want to do. Equip yourself with the knowledge and supplies needed to be able to survive anything. Suffering may be inevitable, but your survival is too. It is up to you to make the most of a bad situation and come out only mildly affected, if not entirely unscathed.
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The Most Effective Routines that Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety
Stress is an inevitable fact in life, but when that stress is coupled with severe anxiety, it can be almost too much to take. A lot of our daily stresses and anxieties can be linked to our routines. People with specific routines can feel more or less stress and here are some effective routines that you can use to reduce stress and anxiety in your own life to help you get more out of living without increasing stressful situations.
Exercise Will Almost Certainly Help
Sometimes, it is necessary to shake up your usual routine to include something new. Exercise is often neglected in our daily lives. It is a common misconception that simply walking around at your job or during your daily schedule is enough to get adequate exercise. Your usual routine likely does not provide adequate exercise for what your body needs and adding in a little exercise each day will help you reduce stress and anxiety. Exercise is a natural way to release endorphins that promote that good feeling we crave. Exercise increases the human libido as well, so when you exercise, your body will crave more physical pleasures and sex is a great way to reduce and relieve stress as well, at least for a short while.
Emphasize How You Breathe
Breathing is natural but is often neglected in our daily life. Generally, it is thought that as long as you are breathing, things are ok, but breathing correctly can have a vastly positive effect on your well-being. Breathing brings oxygen into the brain and throughout the body. Normal breathing can sometimes become shallow and ill-effective but making an effort to take deeper breaths at certain times can help your mind work better. When you begin to feel stressed or that anxiety is creeping up on you, take 10 very deep breaths. It will open up your mind a little more, so you can think your way through problems better. Doing this on a daily basis will allow you to refocus attention and help relieve more anxiety and stress.
A Morning Routine That Works
My parents have been married for well over 40 years. Their lives have not been perfect by any means, but one thing they have always emphasized is getting up early and spending quality time together before heading out for their day. They start each morning at 4 am. Mom brews coffee, they sit together at the table and talk, both do their bible studies during the morning. Now 4 am might seem way too early for most people, but it is what has worked for my parents at least.
It is very important that you find what time works best for you in the morning. Some people can get up early with no problem, while others prefer to sleep as late as possible. The problem with giving yourself just enough time to get out of the house and begin your day, is that you always feel like you are rushing around throughout the day. Getting up, even 15 minutes early, sitting down and having time for yourself or your partner will start your day off right. It gives you time to focus your attention on what is to be done during your busy day while providing quality time with the one you love. It is a win win, so find a time that works for you and stick to it.
Turn Off Technology
Technology is everywhere these days. From the moment we rise in the morning, we use technology in our kitchen preparing breakfast, with our children preparing them for school, in our cars on the way to work, and even at work. When we arrive home after work, we use technology to relax and basically veg out. However, too much technology can be a bad thing and even if you think you are using your devices to relax, you are being trapped by them.
The human mind is a remarkable supercomputer that takes in information like a sponge. We absorb information throughout the day without giving our brain a break from glowing screens, pictures and videos of friends, and so much more. At night, these images can even impact our sleeping patterns bringing on even more anxiety and stress throughout the day. The key here is not to completely absolve yourself of technology, but to provide your body with a break at night at least one hour before bed. Read a book or have a conversation with your family. Turn off the devices for an hour before bed and you will find a more restful night sleep with a renewed self in the morning.
Stress and anxiety are going to happen from time to time, but reducing the amount of stress you have to endure will lead to a higher quality of life. Take control of your mornings, exercise routine, and sleep routines, and enjoy life more without foreboding stress and anxiety looming over your existence.
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3 Ways to Identify a Toxic Coworker and Set Healthy Boundaries
No matter who you are or how long you have been employed, you have likely had to contend with at least one toxic coworker. These are the people that seem to drain the very life out of you on-site or those that use contention in the office as a way to fuel their own sick desire for turmoil. The more positivity you bring to the room, the more negative comments you may receive from a toxic coworker, but there are not always clear signs this person is one to be avoided, and once identified, how do you actually set boundaries? Here are 3 ways to identify those employees and set the healthy boundaries your mental health requires.
Gossip
We have all had our relationship with gossip. It is fun, in the beginning, but gossip is one of the easiest ways to ruin a reputation or completely tear down another coworker. There is really no such thing as healthy gossip. It is all generally a bad idea. Look around your work place. Do you notice one or more people that seem to know more gossip about everyone, but lacks actual knowledge of anything else? This person is the gossip and should be avoided whenever possible.
A gossip will, at first spread supposed factual information to get everyone hooked on their stories. Then they will begin to embellish certain details until the facts fade away into outright lies. Make no mistake about it, if they are talking about everyone else in the office to you, they are talking about you to everyone else.
It is very unlikely you will completely shut down the gossip altogether, but ways to avoid that person and set healthy boundaries is to let them know you do not want to hear the gossip. Every time they start up with a new rumor, simply excuse yourself from the conversation or ask if they have spoken to the manager or higher ups about what is going on. You can also use phrases such as, “This sounds like nothing more than a rumor.” That lets the gossiper know you are on to them and they are more likely to avoid you without you having to do too much to avoid them
Major Victim Syndrome
Playing the victim is a way many people get attention. Nothing is ever their fault and they are always wronged in some manner. These people will talk negatively about their work environment, bosses, and other employees. If an issue arises, they will always attempt to cast blame on another person without ever taking responsibility for their own actions. When a coworker plays the victim, they seem to have an inability to say, “Oops, my mistake.” The phrase, “Well, (insert name) told me to do it,” is very common. They will essentially, throw everyone else under the bus just to avoid someone knowing they made a mistake. Often, these people will blame new employees for their mistakes.
Avoiding the victim is not easy. They will always be there and as incidents arise, tell HR about the facts you see. Ensure they are actual facts and not rumors or gossip and have clear examples of their behavior. The other part of contending with this employee will have to come from within. Practice meditation to help you deal with situations with a clearer mind and surround yourself with those you feel comfortable with at work. Avoid this individual whenever possible and never take the blame for what they have done.
The Passive Aggressive Coworker
Passive aggressive people are difficult to deal with, but we see them in both our professional environment, as well as our personal lives. These people seem to thrive on making others look bad and pointing out flaws of coworkers. They also do it in a way that is underhanded and sneaky. Passive aggressive coworkers blame others, reject feedback, never look at another’s perspective on anything, make excuses, have an obviously cynical personality, and can have a seniority complex. They exhibit sarcasm and disguise insults within conversation. These people are also known to use the silent treatment to deal with situations.
In order to contend with the passive aggressive coworker, you must create a cocoon of positivity around yourself. A passive aggressive person thrives off the reaction of their victims and when you are continually positive, the toxic party will lose steam and often leave you alone. Look for the positive in every situation and be sure to point it out to that person. Motivate yourself with past accomplishments and even write yourself positive notes to reflect on throughout the day.
No work environment is completely devoid of negativity, but limiting a negative person’s hold on you is the first step in overcoming a toxic coworker. Positivity has a unique effect on a negative person. Where they may think they have power, a positive word in a toxic person’s direction can diffuse them without them even knowing it. Keep things positive and light at work and never allow another person to have a negative hold on you. Toxicity can be extinguished with positive thinking and conscientious actions.
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How to Manage Stress, Reduce Anxiety, and Increase Wellbeing
Life is stressful. There is no mistaking this fact. If it were not enough to be stressed about everyday life, work, children, social engagements, and other factors of our existence, we now must contend with COVID-19 and the additional stresses that it brings on. The world around you is getting more and more stressful and now is the time to take things into your own hands and find ways to make your individual life less stressful and less anxiety filled while increasing your own wellbeing. If you are struggling to make it all happen, here are some ways you can do it.
Exercise
Maybe this was not exactly the word you were hoping to see in this article, but exercise is an amazing stress reliever. Getting regular exercise for at least 30 minutes 3 times per week has proven to lower stress hormones in our body while allowing for more restful sleep, and improving self confidence. Exercise offers a trifecta of what your body, mind, and even your soul needs to get more out of life. It can be difficult to start exercising, but if you can manage to walk some every day, find a workout routine online you enjoy, or even get involved with a local gym, you will see your entire life begin to improve while stress begins to melt away.
Limit Exposure to News
The news is meant to inform and some news avenues seem to do a great job at providing the news we need to remain informed, but too much information, in this instance, can have a negative effect. When you are overexposed to everything that is going on in the world, you can become stressed at your inability to control things. We have all seen stories on disasters while watching helplessly from our homes. It can be heartbreaking and knowing that these things can happen at any moment can bring on anxiety and stress you really do not need. Remain informed, but set limits on how much news you take in.
Limit Caffeine Intake
We all like a little jolt of caffeine every so often, but again, too much can be a bad thing. Caffeine has been proven to intensify anxiety symptoms and cause your heart to pump faster. Where this action is fine on occasion, too much caffeine can cause your body to simply overwork. Overworking your organs for too long can have a very negative effect on your overall health leading to even more anxiety and stress. Limit your caffeine intake and see how much better you feel overall.
Write Things Down
Anxiety and stress come in many forms and too much of it can weigh heavily on our ability to live a quality life. A great tactic to help is to write things down. No matter how old or young you are, stresses of daily life can cause you to forget to buy things from the store, appointments, or a myriad of other things you need to get done. Take some time each morning and write it all down. Writing out a schedule for yourself takes a few moments out of your day, but it helps tremendously to know you do not have to keep it all in your head. Additionally, journaling at the end of your day can help you unload your mind before heading to bed. Your mind can empty out leading to a more restful night of sleep.
Enjoy Time with Friends
Finding times to enjoy with friends can be a chore. Especially during these confusing times where social events are drastically reduced or cancelled, but it is important to find time with those you enjoy spending time with. Even though you may not be able to go out to eat in a larger group like you once did, try doing something outdoors. Pack a lunch and head out for a hike with a few friends or start a daily outdoor walk with a few people. The possibilities are not as limited as they might seem. Even if you cannot physically go out and do things, you can spend time in your own home interacting with friends online or try having a movie night with friends with the help of technology. Many streaming services offer watch party options that can help bring people closer together.
Stress and anxiety can happen at any time and to any person, but reducing those stresses and things that bring on anxiety will help your overall wellbeing. There is no one way to completely eliminate stress, but there are many ways to help reduce it. Getting involved with friends for activities, exercise, and turning off the news a little more can have drastic positive effects on your overall life. You are in control over your life and the stresses within, so take them on and work to reduce them one by one. You can do it!
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How to Make Money, Get in Better Shape, Create Amazing Relationships, and Take Control of Your Life
This title might actually scare you a little, but don’t worry, you do not have to be super human to get all of this accomplished. We see people that seem to have it all. The money, awesome bodies, amazing relationships, and have their lives truly in order. How do they do it? How do they keep everything together long enough to get it all done? The answer is, they did not do everything at once. We will take each one of these entities on individually so you can see how it can all be brought together in your own life.
Work to Be Healthier
It can be difficult to be truly happy with your life when you are out of shape. Although we are not speaking of mere vanity, eating right and exercising can have a severely positive effect on your mind and body as well. In order to begin to take control of your life, you must first learn to control your own body and your urges.
We all love a good calorie filled meal from time to time. Filling ourselves with foods we love can make us feel great in the short term, but the effects never last. Changing habits you have in regard to food is the best way to begin reshaping your life. Include more healthy options than unhealthy ones by finding food you can enjoy that will not make you regret your decisions. Invest in fresh fruits and vegetables while reducing your intake of carbs. Choose lean proteins such as chicken, turkey, and fish, as opposed to a big juicy steak or pork chops. Change happens through seemingly insignificant changes over the course of your life.
As for exercise, start slowly. Taking on an intensive exercise routine too fast can lead to burnout. Start by walking a little more each day, starting a once per week fitness class, or playing sports with your kids outside more. Slowly build your exercise routine from there.
Creating High Quality Relationships
When people say relationship, they often think of the romantic variety, but you have to remember, the best romantic relationships start out as friendships. Focus on finding friends that enjoy the same activities you do. Attend gatherings of like minded people. Join a hiking club, religious organization, or social events that meet your specific desires of what you want to accomplish in life. Invest in friends that build you up without dragging you down. Friends with negative habits should be avoided and distancing yourself from these people is essential for your overall happiness.
Once you have found what you love and have invested time with friends that love the same things, you will find the friendships made there are worthy of your affections. You can find a deeper relationship with someone who likes the same activities as you do as opposed to someone you are just physically attracted to. The deepest relationships have intimacy on all levels, not just the physical and it all starts with a deep rooted friendship.
Making Money
This aspect is at the bottom of the list, because it is ultimately, the least important. Although everyone seems to claim money is the most important thing, it is essential that you work on yourself and your relationship with others before making significant money. People are far more important than monetary gain, but once you have established relationships with others and invested in your own wellbeing, making money can be your next step.
Take some time to examine those that already have money and see what they did to get it. What you will find, is that each of these wealthy individuals, unless they were already heir to a fortune, started out by solving a problem. Some have gained wealth by creating an essential app or computer program. Others have created accessories. Still, there are some that create never before seen inventions. The point is to find a problem and solve it.
There Are More Paths to Wealth
Solving a problem for humanity and making a product to sell is considered the big dream and it can happen for some if they are willing to invest the time and attention into marketing their idea and it is truly unique. However, there are other ways to make money without having a product. Many have invested in stocks to help bring about wealth. This option is for those who are analytically minded and understand stocks that will take off. Investing in stocks can be risky and the best way to do it is to be versatile in your investments. Never invest all your savings in one stock.
When evaluating your life, do not compare it to others. There are some that seem to have it all, but no one is perfect. Always keep that in mind. Even the wealthiest and seemingly most successful people have a few flaws. Your life is important and it is time to take hold of it, so invest in getting into shape while eating better, find friends that meet your personality, and then take time to make some money.
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