It is often said that everyone has a dark side. This may be true, but it is also important to remember that we all have the capacity for good as well. The key is to find a balance between the two and to keep your dark side in check.
One of the best ways to do this is to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, take a step back and examine why you are thinking them. Are they really true? Is there another way to look at the situation?
It is also important to be aware of your actions. If you find yourself doing something that you know is wrong, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it really worth it? Is there another way to get what you want?
Why is it important to keep your dark side in check?
We all have a dark side. It’s the part of us that is selfish, violent, and angry. It’s the side that wants to lash out when we’re hurt, take what we want without regard for others, and give in to our worst impulses.
For most of us, the dark side is something to be controlled and kept in check. After all, if we gave into it every time we felt anger or frustration, the world would be a very different place.
Instead, we try to teach ourselves and our children to control their emotions, resolve conflicts peacefully, and act with empathy and compassion. In other words, we try to keep our dark side in check. While it’s not always easy, it’s important. Because if we can’t control our dark side, it will control us.
In order to keep your dark side in check, consider the following:
Understand your dark side – take some time to think about what makes you angry, frustrated, or violent. What are the triggers that make you lose control?
Acknowledge your triggers—once you know what sets off your dark side, try to avoid those situations or resolve them in a different way.
Don’t be afraid to express your dark side-it’s okay to feel anger, frustration, or pain. But instead of lashing out, try to express those emotions in a constructive way.
Don’t let your dark side take over – if you find yourself in a situation where you’re about to lose control, take a step back and breathe. Count to ten, walk away or do whatever you need to do to calm down.
Seek professional help if needed – if you find that you can’t keep your dark side in check, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and manage your emotions in a healthy way.
Practice self-care – finally, it’s important to take care of yourself. Make sure to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise. These things will help you stay physically and mentally healthy, which will in turn make it easier to keep your dark side in check.
How to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions.
It can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and lose track of our thoughts and actions. However, it is important to be mindful of our inner dialogue and how we treat others.
One way to stay mindful is to take a few moments each day to check in with yourself. Notice how you are feeling mentally and physically. Are your thoughts kind and compassionate? Are you treating others with respect?
If not, what can you do to change your thoughts and actions? Another way to stay mindful is to set aside some time each week for reflection. During this time, reflect on your week—what went well and what could have gone better.
What did you learn from your successes and failures? The more aware we are of our thoughts and actions, the more control we have over them. By making a conscious effort to be mindful, we can improve our well-being and the well-being of those around us.
Other ways for staying mindful of your thoughts and actions include:
- Be aware of your inner dialogue
- Check in with yourself regularly
- Set aside time for reflection
- Control your emotions
- Treat others with respect and compassion.
How to be aware of your actions.
It is important to be aware of your actions and how they may affect others. This can be done by thinking about the potential consequences of your actions before you do them.
For example, if you are considering saying something that could be hurtful to someone, ask yourself whether it is worth saying. If the answer is no, then it is probably best to keep your thoughts to yourself.
Another way to be aware of your actions is to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to see things from their perspective and think about how they might feel in different situations.
By doing this, you will be more likely to act in a way that is considerate and respectful of others.
It is important to keep your dark side in check. One way to do this is to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions. If you find yourself thinking or doing something that could be harmful to yourself or others, take a step back and examine why you are doing it.
Is it really worth it? Is there another way to handle the situation? When we take the time to be aware of our thoughts and actions, we are more likely to make choices that are in line with our values and that will lead to positive outcomes for ourselves and others.
How to find a balance between your dark side and your good side.
We all have a light and a dark side. The light side is associated with positive qualities like happiness, kindness, and love. The dark side is associated with negative qualities like anger, hatred, and jealousy.
Finding a balance between these two sides is essential for a happy and healthy life. When our dark side gets the upper hand, we may find ourselves acting in ways that we later regret.
We may say hurtful things to our loved ones or make poor decisions that can have lasting consequences. On the other hand, if we suppress our dark side too much, we may become disconnected from our own emotions and end up leading an unfulfilling life.
The key is to find a balance between the two. Allow yourself to feel your negative emotions, but don’t let them control you. Recognize when your dark side is starting to take over and take steps to bring yourself back into balance. By doing so, you’ll be able to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.read more
What is your definition of happiness? It is about money, respect, inventing something amazing? You likely have thought about this question more than once and have a clear idea in your mind of what you think ultimate success is, however, actually achieving success and happiness might seem a bit too far. The key is not jumping into success, but utilizing simple disciplines to achieve the ultimate happiness and success goal. Here are some tips to turn simple disciplines into massive success and happiness for your life.
Understand the Importance of Every Day
These days, it seems as though every day is running together. Whether you are working from home, helping kids with school, or among our essential workers still droning on as normal as possible, days can sometimes get away from us, but it is important to find something to ground you. You must take back the day and realize that every day, no matter what is going on, is important. Start the day by noting the actual date and day of the week. It seems a little silly, but noting each day can help realize its individual importance and the fact that you will never get that particular date back ever again. Count each day as vital to your success and a stepping stone to your ultimate happiness.
Value Meditation Time
You have a routine that you do every day. That is great, but what about time to really connect with yourself through meditation or prayer? You will find that when you research successful people, they all have something they believe to be a way to ground their life. Meditation or prayer seems to be the most common entities.
Taking time at some point throughout the day to simply be silent, think on the day, pray, or do something else that is just for you. This time is vital to your overall success. These small, still moments allow you to have just a little time to visualize the end goal of success. For some, this time will be during the morning before the family rises for the day and the house is quiet. For others, it might be at the end of the day to help download what happened during the day and what can be done to make the next day even more of a success.
Write Things Down
When was the last time you wrote out a schedule for your day? If you are like most of us, you simply wake up and do the same thing every day without the thought to write things down. However, some of the most successful people you will ever meet are those that discipline themselves to write out a schedule of daily tasks. There is something unique about writing down tasks. It seems to solidify them in your mind. You have a clear-cut goal in mind and a timeline available to get it all done.
Writing out a daily schedule can become a healthy habit, but it takes time to get started. Start out by writing out simple things such as when you intend on getting up, eating, and sleeping. You can work in detail throughout the day until you have a full schedule. Soon, you will find comfort in scheduling and it will become automatic to you. This is just a simple way to begin to organize your life and reach your ultimate success and happiness goals.
Let Nothing Get in Your Way
It seems as though no matter who you are or what your goals may be, there is always something that stands in your way. You will start out strong with great intentions and something ultimately tears you down during the process of achieving your goals. Bumps in the road will happen. Failures will occur, but what you have to have set in your mind is that nothing is going to stop you. When setbacks happen or something tries to get in your day, move on. It might put you down for a little time, but get back up and try again. Never back down.
Ultimate happiness and success are different for everyone. However, knowing what you want is a universal concept. Take time to write down your goals and see what it is, exactly that you want. Find out what true success and happiness look like for your life. Remember, it is about what you want, so do not compare yourself to the success of others. These simple disciplines will help you begin to build a roadmap to your ultimate success and happiness goals. Remember, you are in control of your own destiny and bad habits can knock you off your path. Get back up, keep going, and let nothing stop you. You can achieve happiness and success.read more
Human nature is one of the biggest deciding factors between the life we live and the one that we want to live. We often see targeted programs advertised to people that are trying to change their lives. The programs generally promise quick and lasting results for a myriad of issues such as weight loss/gain, substance abuse, etc. Those of us who do not want to make use of these programs might be quick to disregard them, but a majority of the population tends to fall prey to them simply because our human nature makes it incredibly difficult to change things and thus makes a unique niche for such products/programs. Imagine how difficult it must be to overcome our own natures, that we go out looking for help for things like waking up and exercising.
Do you often find yourself lamenting over the way your life is going at any given point? Do you make plans to change things? Do you find it incredibly difficult to make a difference? If yes, you’re not alone. Change is just as tricky as it is essential. It can apply to our lives in common things like changing the way we look and work to significant events such as beating illnesses such as addiction. It takes about 66 days to turn action into a habit. It seems like a deceptively short time frame to do something consistently, and it is indeed deceptive. Consistency is tough, and we often find ourselves falling off the wagon midway, if not sooner. Slipping up is very subjective. Depending on your goal, slipping up can be a minor inconvenience or a major train wreck. Regardless of the context, one thing that you can always count on is the ability to start over. No matter how severe of a setback you think you’ve suffered, you can always go back and start again.
A very common reason people give for letting go of their new habits or changing lifestyles is having a slip-up and then allowing it to turn to a spiral till they’re at the point of no return. It is primarily a result of being taught that mistakes are unforgivable. The conditioning makes us unforgiving towards ourselves and makes us less likely to try again once we perceive failure. Learn to forgive yourself. You must become gentle towards yourself and be accommodating of your humanity. Failing once does not take away from your worth or potential as a person. You can still try a second, third, or even a hundredth time; try till you succeed. Learn not to be ashamed of the number of tries or the time it takes to achieve things. Some failures preceded every success in the world; they exist even if we don’t talk about them. Remember that and keep going regardless of how many times you have to start again.
An effective habit to help combat loss of confidence following a slip-up is admitting and acknowledging your mistakes. Don’t make excuses for what has happened. Identify the problem and find ways to avoid it in the future. Nothing in life is absolute, and it is a good idea to always remember that. Neither failure nor success is permanent, and you should always continue to try and achieve your goals. The more you focus on the solution, the better you’ll get at whatever you’re trying to do.
A lot of us lose confidence if we don’t immediately succeed at something. This mentality makes it difficult for us to learn things. Learn to give yourself time and space to learn things. If you put undue pressure to be perfect on yourself, you don’t leave space for error. No one is perfect, and this thought process only sets you up for failure. It is normal not to succeed immediately, so even if you slip up and miss your workout, or something similar, don’t fret and simply start again.
The most enormous disservice you can do yourself is not taking chances in life. You will fail at 100% of the tasks you don’t try. If you feel like one failure is enough to get you to give up entirely, then you’ll indeed fail. The only way not to fail is to keep trying despite falling off the bandwagon and remembering that things don’t always stay the same. In the future, you will remember this failure that seems so impossible to overcome right now and think of it fondly. Learn from your mistakes and shortcomings so that you can get better every single day.
It is normal to fail sometimes. It is perfectly alright for you to fall short of perfection sometimes. It is okay to fall off the wagon sometimes, just so long as you pick yourself up and start again. Keep your progress and your setbacks to yourself, and keep moving towards your goals quietly. Nobody needs to know your business except you and your loved ones. Not everyone will be happy or supportive about your journey, so it is your job to preserve your time and energy for people and things that aid in the betterment of your life. Not everyone deserves to be kept in the loop about your life. Once you realize this, you’ll find yourself being less anxious about your failure and successes.
The conclusion is that slipping up really isn’t as big of a deal as we make it out to be. You can always start again, so long as you keep your goal in sight. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to start from scratch. What matters is that you eventually get where you want to go. So, slip up, fall, and get back up again. The only thing you shouldn’t do is give up.read more
If you are like me, you must be having those days you call ‘bad days. Mondays have always been the victim of being a bad day. These are those days that you don’t even feel like waking up. And when you do, you don’t feel motivated to do anything, regardless of how important it is.
When this happens, you will probably end up procrastinating a lot, and sometimes you will hate everything or everyone around you. Many things can lead to being demotivated, these include; When you lose someone, or something you loved, e.g., job, divorce, death, etc.
Too much on your to-do list
Fear of failure
Lack of self-confidence
Poor time management
Burnout from jobs
Easy Ways to Be Motivated and Stay Motivated Every Day
The first step in solving any problem is to understand the root cause of the problem. The issues above are just but a few of the things that may demotivate you. It is essential to understand the root cause of your lack of motivation so that you don’t address the symptoms rather than the problem itself.
Once you know what is bringing you down, you can adequately find solutions. But don’t beat yourself so much when this happens. It is very ok to have some down days. We cannot function the same for all 365 days in a year. Some days we will feel low. How you deal with such days will determine how successful you become.
Here are some simple steps you can take to stay motivated every single day permanently:
1. Practice Positive Affirmation
Motivation is hugely determined by how we feel inside. It is the manifestation of how we think about ourselves. When you doubt your abilities or have little or no self-confidence in your abilities, you will most likely feel demotivated to handle your daily tasks.
Therefore, you should practice saying positive things to yourself. A simple daily mantra can help you get your motivation to handle tasks. For example, you can tell yourself, “I can do it.” When you say this repeatedly, you will automatically be optimistic about your abilities to handle the day’s activities.
2. Take Some Time Off
Burnout can kill your motivation. If you want to stay motivated for the entire day, you need to take some health breaks from your core activities. This will help your body and mind to re-charge. When you work for so long on a task, your productivity will reduce. This will compromise the quality of your output.
It is vital to take some time off and meditate alone. For your peace of mind, you can take a few minute’s walks in the forest or a quiet place. This connection with nature will revitalize your mind and help you stay motivated to handle what is thrown at you during the day.
3. Avoid Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the number one killer of motivation and the lead cause of procrastination and failure to tackle our daily tasks. We often put things to another day when we feel motivated to do it. This is a bad move because you may never feel motivated enough to do it.
Especially when you are doing what you don’t love, here, you should stop thinking of delivering a perfect job, but just do what you can do within the shortest time possible and get feedback on it. That will motivate you to work on your next tasks.
4. Divide Your Activities into Smaller Achievable Sub-tasks
How long is your to-do list? If it is longer than one A6 size page, then that is the source of your demotivation. Also, more significant tasks seem to demotivate people and make them feel lazy to handle them.
What you should do is to divide the bigger task into small sub-task. And just work on a few of the tasks during the day. Achieving these smaller goals will eventually make you feel good and motivate you to work on even more complex tasks. Prioritize your tasks from the most important and urgent to the least urgent. Then work on the most important ones first.
5. Take Action Immediately
Lastly, taking prompt action on your tasks at hand is the only way to stay motivated. When tasks are left untouched, they will pile and kill your spirit. Therefore, it is important to work on your to-do list first thing in the morning.
Also, work on the most challenging tasks, or those that you are likely to procrastinate. As Brian Tracy says in his book “Eat That Frog,”. We should consider the most challenging task as a frog. They should be eaten first. When you wake up, tackle the “frog” first. Don’t be confused by the tadpoles (small and easy tasks). Concentrate on the complicated tasks first. That way, you will be motivated the whole day because you will know that you have handled the most challenging problem of the day. This will motivate you to handle the other smaller jobs with enthusiasm.read more
Human beings are complex, social animals. We evolved to live in groups and form relationships within our communities. Most cues for these aspects of life come to us naturally. However, that doesn’t mean that forming and maintaining relationships is easy. While finding love is one of the most talked-about aspects of romance, it is the sustenance of said love that is most difficult.
There are various aspects of a successful relationship; there is the chemistry at the initial stages. It is impossible to find love without chemistry and so it is essential. Once you’re in the relationship, understanding each other comes into play. It is true that with chemistry, love, and understanding, relationships can be happy, healthy, and long. Life is not as straightforward and often there are a lot of external factors that affect relationships. More often than not these factors are out of the couples’ control and so it all comes down to being patient and taking the right decisions.
One such factor that can place a strain on relationships is mental illness. We live in a fast-paced world that doesn’t allow us enough time or energy to rest and recover. Mental illnesses are a part of our lives and there is no denying it. While there is a lot more understanding and insight into what these illnesses are and why they shouldn’t be stigmatized, it is still quite a challenge to navigate them in real life. Mental illnesses are hard on the people that are affected and so it is essential to get a diagnosis followed by help and support. It is very important for family, friends and partners to support people suffering from mental illnesses.
How does one ensure that they’re providing their partner with the right kind of help and support should they suffer from an illness? The most important thing is to know that the situation is central to your partner, not to you. However, it may be affecting your life, it affects their life more and they deserve your love, respect and support more than anything else. If you love your partner and are willing to do the work to make your relationship work, half the battle has been won. You can start by trying to find out more about your partner’s mental illness. Find out what they suffer from, talk to them about how they manage the illness, and see if there is anything you can do to help them manage their life better. Seek information about your partner’s diagnosis from reliable sources and avoid misinformation. You can also look into mental health organizations or support groups relevant to you and your partner. Knowing about the symptoms and implications of your partner’s diagnosis can help you create a good healing environment for them.
There are certain situations, however, where the best thing you can do for your partner is step back and let them have some space. You might want to be proactive in dealing with their diagnosis but it is a very personal matter, so being able to step back is just as important as being able to step up in this situation. Remember to treat your partner with respect and not disregard their opinion in how to handle their own diagnosis. While there are situations where your partner may need you to act on their behalf, this should not translate to you dictating their life. Taking decisions when your partner needs you to and taking decisions all the time are two very different things and should be kept separate.
Your partner may not always know that they’re suffering with a mental illness. They might start falling sick after you’ve been with them so keep an eye out for signs of them suffering. Don’t take any new conflicts in the relationship at surface level, see if there is a reason why your partner is stressed and upset. You need to be mindful in relationships and so be mindful of what you say and hear. Is there a change in the way your partner acts? Is there a change in their appetite? Has their lifestyle altered without explanation? Has your partner started to self-medicate with alcohol or nicotine? Keeping an eye on things like this can allow you to understand what state of mind your partner is in and if they need help from you and/or a professional. Medication and therapy go a long way when it comes to mental illness and an early diagnosis could spare your partner the pain of being misunderstood and untreated.
It is not easy to navigate life with a mental illness, remember that when with a partner struggling with one. The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and find out what they need. The time following a diagnosis can be embarrassing for your partner. They may not feel like themselves for a while afterward so be mindful of their insecurities and doubts. If your partner asks for validation, give it to them because they need it. If your partner needs to be reassured of your feelings towards them; don’t take it personally. It is not a lack of trust in you but in themselves.
There will be times where you’ll do everything right and still not get the result you want and you have to learn to accept that. It takes time and patience to come up with a way of living that works for your partner’s healing path as well as your relationship. Be kind and patient. Remember that your partner is dealing with a lot of pressure and stress that may not even be related to you so don’t take things personally. The most important point when everything else has been taken care of is self-care. You need to keep yourself in good health and a pleasant mindset. Remember to take care of your own well-being as well because this can only work if both parties are moving towards good health. You cannot pour from an empty cup so continue to work on yourself as you work to ensure your partner’s healing and comfort.
Love is strong and overcomes a lot just as long as you put in sustained effort. Having a mental illness doesn’t have to be the end of the line for your love story.read more
Love is all-encompassing and omnipresent, it is omnipotent and eternal, but is it enough? Love is all you need, but is it all you’ll ever want? Love overcomes all but can humans do the same?
Cynical as those questions sound, they are actual thoughts that people have as they fall in and out of love. They are valid questions, however brash and upsetting they may sound.
We often look at love as a panacea but love is only the first step of the way to a relationship. The new romantics may think this thought absurd. They may argue that love is all there is to a relationship and a lot of people will agree. Surely love can’t just be an elective in the school of relationships? The seasoned players of the game of romance however will tell you that love truly is the last thing that matters when relationships end. You could truly love someone and not stand to be around them and you could not love someone at all and still stay with them for a lifetime. Everything beautiful about a relationship can fade over time and while the thought of this is incredibly scary, it is not at all outlandish. Life keeps flowing around you as you fall in love and slowly you settle into a routine. There are people who naturally maintain a balance between their work and their personal lives and there are others that don’t. It is often people that fall in the latter category that find their relationships losing their sparkle.
We sometimes become so comfortable with our partners that we forget to do the things that we once did to make them feel special. As the spark dulls in the relationship, problems arise and sometimes people end up separating as a consequence. The good thing in all of this is that this is not the only possible ending in this situation. Just because you’ve fallen into a routine doesn’t necessarily have to mean that your relationship has to lose its spark.
The very first thing to understand about relationships is the need for consistency. You cannot bring a certain energy to a relationship in the beginning and then slowly let the energies fade away as you become sure of your partner’s connection with you. Your partner has fallen in love with the person you are in the first few blissful days/weeks of the relationship, changing that once they’ve made a commitment to you will certainly lead to problems in the long run. There should be consistency in your efforts. The relationship may not always have the jitters and excitement of a first date but it should always have love and adoration.
There often comes a point in a relationship where couples might start to feel like they know everything about each other. There is a chance that this might be partially true. When you’ve spoken to someone so much and spend extended amounts of time with them, your lives start to merge. Your stories and experiences slowly merge till it becomes difficult to separate one from the other. Regardless of this merging of lives, people also continue to develop as individuals. It is important to keep track of this change. If you feel disconnected from your partner, then try and see if there is anything that has changed in their life. Have they picked up a new hobby/interest, is something new going on at work, are they simply feeling different for whatever reason? Ask these questions and take interest in your partner’s life. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated, and seen in their entirety so make sure you’re keeping up with this evolution.
The emotional aspect of relationships is often rather complicated. It is difficult enough to take care of yourself and your mental health in today’s fast-paced world. It is even more difficult to keep track of the same with another person in the equation. Try and make sure you and your partner are emotionally and mentally healthy. Sometimes feeling disconnected from your partner may be a result of emotional pressure/ stress. Be mindful of the state your relationship is in emotionally and then see if it might be reasonable to seek external help. Try couples counseling if you and your partner aren’t sure how to approach and resolve the issue.
The stereotypical advice about bringing back the spark in a relationship may focus on acts of service or presents to make your partner re-engage in the relationship, but the reality is far from it. While it is important to do nice things for your partner, it is not the cure-all. You absolutely should plan activities with your partner, get them a gift if you want to, and give them physical affection. However, these are things that people in healthy relationships normally do, so if you have reached a point where it isn’t coming naturally then it may be time to re-evaluate. Why aren’t you and your partner finding time for activities together? Is there a way to spend time together that can fit in with your schedules? If so, go ahead and do it. Not every date needs to be a high-effort event. Sometimes spending quality time with your partner can be as simple as staying in bed a little longer and talking to each other. You could make a nice little activity out of cooking a meal or doing the dishes. You could play some music and dance in the living room, go for a picnic or just take walks around the park. The possibilities are endless.
The relationship ultimately comes down to whether or not you enjoy the time spent with your partner. With the right person, anything could be interesting. You could just be sitting in a room together working on your own and it would still be a good experience. Anything is possible if two people are in love and willing to make things work. Ask yourself why you feel the lack of a spark in your relationship and then go from there. If there is love, you and your partner will surely find a way.read more
You cannot avoid adversity in life. Even the most sheltered and privileged individuals find themselves in adverse conditions at some point or the other. Adversity is not convenient, and it often throws a wrench in your plans, but there is no way around this aspect of life. You have to accept that as a part of life and focus on the consequences of these situations rather than worrying about the purpose. Some say that adversity is to be considered a test of strength, and they may be right. However, I feel like we glorify adversity, too, much like all else in life. Adversity is an inconvenience that you often cannot circumvent and should be treated as such. There have been various studies that have looked into the ways in which one can overcome adversity, the foremost being having resilience.
You must remember that not every single inconvenience in life is going to be the reason life ends. It is natural for things to go wrong from time to time, and you must accept that as soon as you identify a problem. Remember that you have been through difficult situations before, and you’ll go through more of them in the future. You are strong enough to deal with whatever has been sent your way. That is not to say that you need to deal with adversity alone. Talk to your friends and family. Acknowledge and accept their help because you are not alone in your situation. More often than not, we start to take pride in how little help we ask for, but no one gets a medal for doing things the hard way. You will not receive one either. Make your life easy by asking for and accepting help when necessary.
The second thing to focus on is your surroundings. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you. Your surroundings can affect your mood as well as your response to adversity. You are vulnerable in times of adversity, so the effect is even more pronounced. The right guidance at the right time. People who accept mistakes and understand how they are an essential part of life Supportive people who favor your success. While your surroundings are greatly influenced by the people around you, it is also dependent on your own mindset. Write about your feelings, and make sure you check any negative thoughts you might be having. Keep track of how you feel and how you’re responding to your surroundings. Do not indulge in self-loathing and try to be reflective instead. Understand your situation after recovering from its initial shock and move on from it when you’re comfortable doing so. Accept the situation and start to look for ways to solve your problem. It might seem like a herculean task, but the best thing to do in times of adversity is to get busy. Put your energy into making things better, and you’ll thank yourself once the situation has been resolved. In the midst of all this, do not forget to express your feelings through your writing. Eventually, you’ll be able to track your progress over time, allowing you to remember that no matter how bad things get, you can always make it through.
The modern world is full of wonderful technology, which makes our lives easier, but it is not without its limitations. One major limitation is the introduction of one more aspect of life for us to worry about. This could be anything from your social media presence to the inability to regulate how available you want to be to the people contacting you. While one may deal with these reasonably well in good times, it may not be as easy to do so in difficult times. Take a break from technology and social media in whatever capacity suits you. This ties in with the fact that you are the most important person in your life. Prioritize taking care of yourself before you take care of others. Try to take nature walks or sit in the fresh air if it is possible for you. Research shows that outdoor activities and immersion in nature reduce stress, so try to get some sunlight every day and follow your body’s natural circadian rhythm to allow for recovery.
Life has strange ways of teaching you lessons you don’t realize you need. It is important to remember to keep your eyes and mind in times of adversity to allow the learning to continue. You might see your relationships more clearly in your time of need. You can identify your own habits that may have been holding you back. Invest in your own development. Make time for yourself and make improvements to the quality of your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so even if you are more inclined to care for others, know that you can’t keep doing that if you’re not feeling happy and satisfied.
There will always be adversity in life, and you can be sure of that. However, none of these are situations you can not survive. The adversity can result from your actions, or it can be entirely out of your hand. The key is not to take it personally. Don’t waste your time wondering why you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Take this time to introspect and work on making sure you don’t have the same problem twice. Things will be out of your control sometimes. There will be times when the only thing to do will be to let go. In situations like that, learn to practice satisfaction and detachment. Don’t get comfortable in your misery, and it is easy to become complacent to your situation. The challenge is to take every adversity and face it head-on with the clear intention to overcome it. Know that you are capable, and you’ll surely succeed.read more
The world has been in turmoil for over a year now. We have collectively lost a lot including people, routines, jobs and much more. In times like this, it becomes imperative to maintain our inner strength. Trying times always come with challenges that seem nearly impossible to defeat. However, it is times like this that make us stronger. This is not to say that suffering is noble somehow. Suffering should be avoided at all cost, everyone that is lucky enough to have the gift of life should also live without suffering and subjecting others to it. While this is a noble thought, suffering is inevitable.
What can we do in times of suffering then? Should we escape, or should we endure?
Escapism is the most commonly picked answer in such cases. It is easy to escape, takes minimal effort, and thus is more convenient of the two. Escapism, however, doesn’t end suffering. You may drink away your pain for a day, but you will not end it. The only way to end suffering is to endure. Survive in the face of adversity and make your situations better. There are no knights in shining armor in real life. As corny as it may sound, you have to be your savior.
What can we do to be our saviors?
It is a loaded question and needs to be answered with logic. Consider the challenges of life like endurance tests. One requires the right mindset, knowledge and supplies to be able to ace a test. Consider inner strength as your supply in the test of life. You can still pass these tests with low inner strength, but it may be detrimental to your mental health. You don’t just want to survive; you want to thrive, so the first thing you should work on is developing inner strength. Inner strength includes the generation of a will to live to the fullest instead of settling with mere survival. Having a positive outlook on life can be the difference between barely surviving a setback and coming back stronger due to it. No matter how good or bad a situation is, it will pass, so there is no point worrying.
When life throws curveballs at you, they don’t just come in intangible forms; every once in a while, the challenge will come in form of people. When that happens, you have to remember that you should do everything to protect yourself first, then others. So, if you need to distance yourself from a person who emotionally drains you, do it. Remember that the most important person in your life is you, and you will find self-preservation coming to you a lot easier; knowing when to stop and draw a boundary allows for cleaner solutions, even for the messiest problems.
Due to the history of toxic positivity in the human world, many people equate inner strength to apathy. The apathetic mindset not only hurts the people around us but also our journey. Emotions are natural, healthy even, so don’t hide them. If you feel upset, then let yourself process the situation before trying to deny it. Let yourself be angry, upset or annoyed and then get over it. It is better to feel your emotions and then let go, rather than holding onto them till the point of implosion.
This brings us to one of the most important aspects of inner strength and crisis management. We must learn to let go. This may sound like vague advice, but it is quite possibly the key to inner peace. Learn to let go of everything, right from materialistic wares to anger and frustration. You should absolutely let yourself feel your emotions, but you should not ruminate in them too long. Process your feelings, come to a conclusion and take action. If you are upset about something in life, then don’t belittle your own emotion, feel it, throw yourself a pity party if you must but then look for ways to change where you are. Is it a problem you can solve? If not, then your work is done, and you can let go of whatever it is. If you can solve it, then move on to step two and make a plan. You must remember, however, that making plans is seldom enough. You must make a plan and stick to it, which brings us to the next step: acting on your plans. Being able to let go or take action as and when needed allows us to make better decisions even in times of distress.
Strength and resilience are not something you can learn. They are a result of your circumstance and how you deal with said circumstances. I agree that some people may inherit their strength and resilience from their families, but it is not genetic transmission that leads to it. It is the things that you learn through watching the people around you navigate the narrow lanes of a crisis.
The point is that even if you don’t feel solid or resilient now, you can inculcate them in yourself through conscious effort. Make an effort to be more kind to yourself, understand your feelings and emotions, and put them before others as and when needed. Learn to identify your allies and talk to them. You can endure on your own, too, but as mentioned above, our goal is to thrive, not just survive. Know when to ask for help and let the people around you rise to the occasion.
The development of inner strength may seem like too much work, but this is work you want to do. Equip yourself with the knowledge and supplies needed to be able to survive anything. Suffering may be inevitable, but your survival is too. It is up to you to make the most of a bad situation and come out only mildly affected, if not entirely unscathed.read more
We often find ourselves googling little questions throughout our days about things we don’t understand or know how to do. The answers are usually straightforward and get the job done so that we can move on to the next task on our lists. One such question that has about 87,40,00,000 results is, ‘How to keep your partner happy?’ and the answer is anything but straightforward.
I would like to stress that the first thing to do, is to work towards making yourself happy. We have heard the saying that ‘Hurt people, hurt people’, and so it is of the utmost importance for you to be satisfied and content in yourself before you start bending over backward to make someone else happy.
Relationships are a bit of a paradox because they are simultaneously the most simple and complicated things in the world. They are simple because all they need is love, and they are complex because just love is never enough. I realize that we have been drip-fed the ‘one true love’ narrative by popular culture for years and years. Over generations, we have been taught to differentiate true love and fake love, as if fake love even exists. It is an oxymoron, you know; love is not and can never be faked. Just because you’re with the love of your life now does not make all your other relationships fake. It may not last forever, but it is almost always true if it’s love. Once you understand that, you’ll stop putting undue pressure on your relationship to be perfect.
What should you do when you’re in love and want to make it known to your partner? The key here is communication. Get to know your partner and what makes them who they are. Not everyone wants a grand gesture, sometimes lending an ear is enough; that is not to say that grand gestures are useless. You just need to know what exactly your partner likes. Maybe they want you to buy them a gift, or perhaps they want you to cook them a meal, sometimes they may just want you to sit with them and watch the sunrise in silence; all three are languages of love, and all three can make people happy. So, start with communication.
There are various love languages, and they aren’t always the same for people, but the common factor in all of them is respect and consideration. This brings me to my next point – Always respect your partner. If reading this sentence ruffles your feathers, then introspection may be in order. Respect is not about status or domination; respect is so much more tender than that. When I say respect, I don’t mean the performative kind; continue to be who you are around your partner while simultaneously remembering that they are a whole universe unto themselves just as you are. Respect their time and energy. If you say you’re going to do something and go somewhere, keep your word. I have to add here that you must hold yourself to the same standard and expect respect from a partner in a similar fashion.
Most people, if not all, want to be loved and appreciated. However, we often blur the lines between being loved and being raised. Do not let your partner unknowingly take on a parental role for you. As outlandish as this sounds, it is a pretty common reason for the short life of certain relationships. There should be a healthy balance of responsibility between partners so that everyone can retain their individuality. The point where these lines are blurred is the point where your partner will start to feel unhappy. Another facet of this is giving your partner space. I understand that some people may want to be with their partners all the time, which is not a bad thing, but you have to draw a line somewhere. Don’t stifle your partner, let them have space, and don’t take their need for space personally. Everyone needs to be alone and in meditation sometimes. This can look different for different people; maybe your partner likes to work out early in the morning, maybe they like to sit in silence and read, maybe they want to watch a show alone. None of these mean that they dislike you; it just means that they need to be on their own and that this is an opportunity for you to go and do the things that you like.
Couples are teams and thus require a healthy amount of team spirit. Make plans together with your partner. This could be anything from planning vacations to planning meals or chores. Make plans together in a way where both of you can make the most of them. I will not ask you to be selfless to make your partner happy. Your priority should always be you, but that does not mean that you should be selfish. Strike a balance, find a middle ground if you cannot come to a clear decision but do not let your ego or selfishness get in the way of solving problems. In line with the idea of discussion and dissent, I have one tip that is a little less profound than the rest. Do not simmer in your anger too long. If you argue with your partner, learn to know when to walk away. You don’t have to talk about everything as soon as it happens. Give yourself and your partner time, and never say things out of anger. My mother always says that your words are like arrows, and once they’re out of your mouth, you cannot take them back. You may move past them for the time being, but I assure you that any pain caused by your words will remain for a much longer time.
I know that you can do many little things for your partner that are not as long-term as these. However, most of us know that; flowers, gifts, and grand gestures are common knowledge, and I do not doubt that they make romantic partners momentarily happy. This momentary happiness, however potent, is not long-lasting, and thus it is important to have a healthy mix of good behavior and good gestures in a relationship. Suppose I were to oversimplify the key to a happy partner and resultant happy relationship. In that case, I’d say take an interest in each other’s interests while avoiding turning everything into a two-person activity, and you’ll be just fine.read more
Making The Best Of An Imperfect Situation
We get it: plenty of you are not happy with your jobs: with the duties, the salaries, the hours, your coworkers, your bosses, or maybe all of those. Jobs that bring little satisfaction can be draining and demoralizing, but often folks have to keep at them because they bring home a much needed pay check.
Still, there are tactics you can employ to feel better about your employment situation. These strategies help you cope, get through your day and feel less stressed by the end of it. Give one — or all — of them a try, and we guarantee that, while you may never love your job, you will deal with it a whole lot better.
1) Take pride in your work environment, and your appearance. You can’t control the office decor, perhaps, but you can control the way you and your work space look. Make sure your desk is clean, tidy and well organized, and that you are, too! Even if your job demands that you wear a uniform, it’s important to keep it clean and pressed so you feel good about how you present yourself to the world. If you can wear “street clothes” to work, choose the proper attire; a suit, if need be, or a pair of dress slacks and an unfussy jacket and blouse. Nothing says “professional” like the right clothing, and even if you hate your job, you don’t want your outfit to telegraph that to outsiders, and certainly not to your coworkers and bosses.
2) Love your off hours activities: The last thing you should do at the end of your work day is an activity you don’t absolutely love. Of course, we all have chores that need dealing with — grocery shopping, bill paying, etc. — but when it comes to your leisure time, choose wisely. Do something physical, if you can, like hiking or yoga or cycling, because that will rev up your endorphins and improve your mood. Exercise gets rid of stress, and helps put you in the right frame of mind for the following work day. Exercising before work is even better, as you’re upbeat the minute you get to work, but we realize that’s not possible for everyone. The important thing here is finding something you really enjoy and sticking with it, at least three times a week.
3) Make the most of family and friends time. Don’t just gather in front of the television and computer screens after supper — gather in a family or living room and talk. Bring in the kids and your spouse, and dedicate at least an hour to family time. Staying current by really talking helps you remember why it is you’re doing this job you hate — because your family needs you, and the all important income you earn. Bringing friends into that helps too, and when social distancing policies relax around the globe eventually, you can get back to having those get-togethers with people you care about.
4) Your job isn’t all that defines you. Life is made up of many aspects, and your job is only a fraction of it. Who are you, really? A mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother…. you define yourself in many ways apart from your job title. It’s important to note that your job is a means to an end, a way of supporting yourself while, perhaps, you write that novel or launch a side business. Write down what matters to you most, and we bet your job comes far down the list.
There are other strategies you can use, like taking a new employee under your wing and showing them the ropes, which is satisfying and might even bring rewards when your boss notices the initiative you’ve taken. If you’re truly unhappy, start applying for jobs elsewhere. Just be sure your lack of enjoyment at work doesn’t show, or you’ll never get the reference and positive feedback you need your boss to pass along to a potential new employer. No matter how much you hate your job, find something about it that is positive, and focus on that. Then sooner, rather than later, move on to a more satisfying position, because life is too short to spend it being miserable at work.read more