Often, we are just going through life without really enjoying or being fully present. Without a sense of vitality, we go through life without feeling alive each day, and our contentment is frequently influenced by the outcomes of our actions.
Every morning we get out of bed, shower, brush our teeth, have breakfast, drive to work, lose track of time in our work, return home, complete our chores, and prepare to go to sleep. We do this every single day. We restart the cycle the next day and do it all over again.
Are We Alive?
We no longer seem to be as enthusiastic about life as we were when we were younger. I guess that the adolescent years are an exhilarating time in your life. Because you’re having a good time every day, you are content. And you’ve got big plans for what you’d like to do after college.
But sadly, things began to shift. It’s easy to fall victim to the illusion that life isn’t as exciting as it should be once you begin working and living independently. Your everyday life suddenly becomes a series of predefined plans and steps that seems boring and less interesting. It is like we stop living completely.
Here are some quick solutions to help you feel more alive again if you are feeling low:
1. Set Smart Goals
If you want to rediscover your zest for life and feel alive again, you must set yourself smart goals. You need a goal to get back into the swing of things, whether it’s about money or you want to go for a vacation.
Smart goals have a specific timeline to achieve them. By simply taking time to set your goals and your to-do list, you will feel alive. The simple act of breaking your bigger goals into smaller achievable goals makes everything easier to achieve and easier to handle.
2. Try out a New Skill
Your brain will go to sleep mode if you don’t practice something new every day. You either use it or lose it! Learn a new skill and bring something fresh to your life. It could be something you are interested in or a talent that you wish to master.
The technicality of learning something new will keep you alive and your brain will be working hard to ensure you achieve it. But this will require deliberate practice every day to improve. You should not let any day pass without practicing the skill.
3. Read a book
Whether you are a fan of books or not, to feel alive again, you should read books. Books help us to connect to the authors or the characters and experience life differently. When you read about the life experience of someone else, fiction or real, you get to understand how someone else would have handled the situation that you are in.
Books are the easiest way to travel the world and enjoy the experience of different countries, religions, ethnicity, and cultures. By so doing, you will feel alive again just by acknowledging that there are some people out there dealing with even more complicated situations than you are in at the moment.read more
Your brain is the most complicated organ in your entire body. It controls all the activities of the body, whether you are asleep or awake. Because of this, our brain is constantly switching its attention from one thing to the other in split seconds. Getting your brain to focus on one item can be overwhelming.
However, for maximum productivity, you should learn how to get your brain to focus on what matters. Productivity is only realized by focusing on the critical tasks that pay us the most. When your brain wanders all over with a different type of thought, and you allow it, that will become your default way of thinking. And this may lead to reduced productivity and a lack of motivation to achieve your task.
So, how do you get your brain to focus on what matters and discard anything that will cause destruction?
Here are five ways to get your brain to Focus on Important Matter
You are what you think, and not the other way round. Therefore, the first step to getting your brain to focus is to first think about focus. That way, you will be aware of what is causing the destruction. You will be away from the environmental, physical, and emotional factors that affect your focus.
Here are some simple but very effective ways to get your brain to focus on what matters most:
1. Customize Your Environment for Focus
As I mentioned earlier, the most complex organ in your body is your brain. The second most complicated organ is your eye. Because of this that 50% of your brain is dedicated to processing visual data from the eye. What does this mean?
It means that what you see will determine what and how you think. Therefore, if you want your brain to focus on what matters, your environment should be full of only the important stuff that matters most. Failure to do so will keep your brain from wandering from one thing to the other that it sees.
2. Re-energize Your Body Regularly
Your brain is the Central Processing Unit (CPU) for your body. Therefore, like the computer CPU, it uses most of the resources from the body. Because of this, you have to take good care of your body for the optimal functioning of your brain.
This can be achieved by exercising and taking regular health and meditative breaks. When you exercise your body, the flow of blood to your brain will be enhanced, and so is your ability to focus on what matters.
3. Eliminate Negative Thoughts
We are emotional beings. And our thinking is likely to be swayed by what we feel inside. Because of this, you should ensure you fill your brain with positive thoughts only. That way, you will think clearly through things and come up with even better ideas. When you have negative thoughts, you are likely to have a biased way of thinking. Also, negative thoughts will make you lose focus on the most important things.
4. Develop a System and Stick to It
When you are engaged in complex and repetitive activities like writing, reading, etc. It is important to develop a system that will allow you to focus. You can do this by using the Pomodoro technique. This technique states that you divide your activity into smaller sub-activities that you can achieve in 25 minutes. Then takes a short break of 5 minutes between each Pomodoro. That way, your brain can easily focus on the task at hand for 25 minutes without straining.
5. Observe Your Overall Health
Lastly, what you eat is what you get! Okay, I just made that up, but what it means, when you are hungry, your brain will not focus on the task at hand. Your brain will be wandering around thinking of how you will get your next meal. Therefore, before you sit down to work on any task, make sure you are well fed. Too much food will also make you lose focus because the brain will handle the digestive system. Therefore, only eat enough.
Above all, you should be mindful of what you feed your brain. As it said in Information Technology (IT), Garbage in Garbage Out (GIGO). So, ensure you provide your brain with positive thoughts and keep learning new things by reading and consuming valuable information. That way, your brain will automatically know what to take in and what to keep out. With consistent practice, these will become easy and automatic processes for your brain. You will be able to easily focus on what matters with little or no effort.read more
It is often said that everyone has a dark side. This may be true, but it is also important to remember that we all have the capacity for good as well. The key is to find a balance between the two and to keep your dark side in check.
One of the best ways to do this is to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, take a step back and examine why you are thinking them. Are they really true? Is there another way to look at the situation?
It is also important to be aware of your actions. If you find yourself doing something that you know is wrong, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it really worth it? Is there another way to get what you want?
Why is it important to keep your dark side in check?
We all have a dark side. It’s the part of us that is selfish, violent, and angry. It’s the side that wants to lash out when we’re hurt, take what we want without regard for others, and give in to our worst impulses.
For most of us, the dark side is something to be controlled and kept in check. After all, if we gave into it every time we felt anger or frustration, the world would be a very different place.
Instead, we try to teach ourselves and our children to control their emotions, resolve conflicts peacefully, and act with empathy and compassion. In other words, we try to keep our dark side in check. While it’s not always easy, it’s important. Because if we can’t control our dark side, it will control us.
In order to keep your dark side in check, consider the following:
Understand your dark side – take some time to think about what makes you angry, frustrated, or violent. What are the triggers that make you lose control?
Acknowledge your triggers—once you know what sets off your dark side, try to avoid those situations or resolve them in a different way.
Don’t be afraid to express your dark side-it’s okay to feel anger, frustration, or pain. But instead of lashing out, try to express those emotions in a constructive way.
Don’t let your dark side take over – if you find yourself in a situation where you’re about to lose control, take a step back and breathe. Count to ten, walk away or do whatever you need to do to calm down.
Seek professional help if needed – if you find that you can’t keep your dark side in check, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and manage your emotions in a healthy way.
Practice self-care – finally, it’s important to take care of yourself. Make sure to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise. These things will help you stay physically and mentally healthy, which will in turn make it easier to keep your dark side in check.
How to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions.
It can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and lose track of our thoughts and actions. However, it is important to be mindful of our inner dialogue and how we treat others.
One way to stay mindful is to take a few moments each day to check in with yourself. Notice how you are feeling mentally and physically. Are your thoughts kind and compassionate? Are you treating others with respect?
If not, what can you do to change your thoughts and actions? Another way to stay mindful is to set aside some time each week for reflection. During this time, reflect on your week—what went well and what could have gone better.
What did you learn from your successes and failures? The more aware we are of our thoughts and actions, the more control we have over them. By making a conscious effort to be mindful, we can improve our well-being and the well-being of those around us.
Other ways for staying mindful of your thoughts and actions include:
- Be aware of your inner dialogue
- Check in with yourself regularly
- Set aside time for reflection
- Control your emotions
- Treat others with respect and compassion.
How to be aware of your actions.
It is important to be aware of your actions and how they may affect others. This can be done by thinking about the potential consequences of your actions before you do them.
For example, if you are considering saying something that could be hurtful to someone, ask yourself whether it is worth saying. If the answer is no, then it is probably best to keep your thoughts to yourself.
Another way to be aware of your actions is to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to see things from their perspective and think about how they might feel in different situations.
By doing this, you will be more likely to act in a way that is considerate and respectful of others.
It is important to keep your dark side in check. One way to do this is to stay mindful of your thoughts and actions. If you find yourself thinking or doing something that could be harmful to yourself or others, take a step back and examine why you are doing it.
Is it really worth it? Is there another way to handle the situation? When we take the time to be aware of our thoughts and actions, we are more likely to make choices that are in line with our values and that will lead to positive outcomes for ourselves and others.
How to find a balance between your dark side and your good side.
We all have a light and a dark side. The light side is associated with positive qualities like happiness, kindness, and love. The dark side is associated with negative qualities like anger, hatred, and jealousy.
Finding a balance between these two sides is essential for a happy and healthy life. When our dark side gets the upper hand, we may find ourselves acting in ways that we later regret.
We may say hurtful things to our loved ones or make poor decisions that can have lasting consequences. On the other hand, if we suppress our dark side too much, we may become disconnected from our own emotions and end up leading an unfulfilling life.
The key is to find a balance between the two. Allow yourself to feel your negative emotions, but don’t let them control you. Recognize when your dark side is starting to take over and take steps to bring yourself back into balance. By doing so, you’ll be able to lead a more balanced and fulfilling life.read more
The world we live in today is not what it had been just two decades ago. The situation is not just a result of the pandemic. Even before the virus threw our lives into disarray, the world had started to move in a very different direction. There has been an unrelenting sense of competition in the world for everything, right from good schools to doctoral studies and jobs. Throw onto that uncertainty brought on by the pandemic, and you have a recipe for disaster. If the job market was fickle before, it seems entirely insufferable now. Student’s careers hang in the balance due to the lack of proper examinations and the decreasing value of their qualifications, and they find themselves feeling dejected.
It would be wrong to say that this isn’t something to worry about because one’s career is undoubtedly a serious topic. Worrying about your career is only natural. The education system has been unfair to the youth. Young people no older than seventeen are expected to make binding decisions about what they want to do for the next few years, sometimes even for the rest of their lives. They are made to feel like not making the right decision is the end of the world. The pandemic has worsened this situation, even more, making people think they are missing out or lagging somehow.
The truth is that it is never too late to start your journey or to start over should the need arise. It may feel like time is slipping out of your hands, but it is essential to remember that life is only as forgiving as you are. Your career is important but what is more important is your health and happiness. If you worry about your career a lot, the most efficient fix is finding ways to move in a direction you find fitting for you. Following this, you can start setting goals and working towards them. Try to learn as much as you can about your career and the paths you can take. The more you know about it, the better your plans will be. Having foresight can allow you to progress faster and thus decrease anxiety.
If making plans and working towards them doesn’t help your anxiety, it may be time to reevaluate your workspace. Are you in a comfortable workspace? Do your superiors and colleagues treat you well? Is your work environment pleasant?
If your answer is no to any of these questions, that may factor into your work-related anxiety. We spend a large chunk of our time working, so a lot of our time is spent in the workspace, making it very important for the workspace to have a positive environment. If your environment is hostile, that will lead to anxiety about work and all aspects of it. You must check if your colleagues somehow contribute to your career-based fear. If so, try limiting the time you spend with such people and focus on your efforts. Once you tackle the issue of your workspace, it is imperative to work on your time. Make a schedule that comfortably balances your work and personal life. It is always a good idea to extricate your work life from your personal life so that neither bleeds into the other. If you’re able to maintain the balance, it will allow you to complete all your work on time and will enable you to rejuvenate and return to your work reinvigorated.
Career-based anxiety isn’t limited to working people. In fact, it wouldn’t be incorrect to say that more unemployed people suffer from these thoughts than working people. It is difficult to get jobs, but there are some things that one can do to make themselves more employable. The most crucial point is to obtain the relevant education to enter your field of interest. If you can not fulfill the basic qualifications for your dream job, then your dream ends right there. Get the right qualifications, and you will undoubtedly come a step closer to realizing your passion.
The next thing to remember with respect to combating career-based anxiety is never to stop learning. The moment you stop being receptive to new information is the day you start on the path of irrelevance. Keep yourself up to date with discoveries and trends concerning your career. Not only will this keep you sharp, but it will also make you more secure in your position. There is no age for learning. If you still find yourself dreading work or find yourself associating negative emotions with your career, it might be time to consider a change of pace. The difference could be anything from taking a break to switching jobs. If you feel like your current career may not be fulfilling, it is worth looking into picking a new career that you’re more passionate about pursuing.
If you find your anxiety isn’t getting better regardless of your efforts, you should seek external help. Talk to a therapist and see if they can chalk out a plan for you to manage your anxiety better. In addition to this, the fact that you have such intense anxiety about your career could be affecting your overall health and peace, making it all the more important to look after your physical and mental health. There is no shame in asking for help when you find yourself in a difficult situation.
One of the main takeaways is always to put your health and happiness above your career. You can only work efficiently if you’re in good health. Start by working yourself and watch your career anxiety lessen every day. If you find yourself in a job where you’re unhappy, it is always a good idea to look for more options. The point is to remember that you work to live a good life, not live so you can work. Set your goals, identify your priorities and do your best.read more
Human nature is one of the biggest deciding factors between the life we live and the one that we want to live. We often see targeted programs advertised to people that are trying to change their lives. The programs generally promise quick and lasting results for a myriad of issues such as weight loss/gain, substance abuse, etc. Those of us who do not want to make use of these programs might be quick to disregard them, but a majority of the population tends to fall prey to them simply because our human nature makes it incredibly difficult to change things and thus makes a unique niche for such products/programs. Imagine how difficult it must be to overcome our own natures, that we go out looking for help for things like waking up and exercising.
Do you often find yourself lamenting over the way your life is going at any given point? Do you make plans to change things? Do you find it incredibly difficult to make a difference? If yes, you’re not alone. Change is just as tricky as it is essential. It can apply to our lives in common things like changing the way we look and work to significant events such as beating illnesses such as addiction. It takes about 66 days to turn action into a habit. It seems like a deceptively short time frame to do something consistently, and it is indeed deceptive. Consistency is tough, and we often find ourselves falling off the wagon midway, if not sooner. Slipping up is very subjective. Depending on your goal, slipping up can be a minor inconvenience or a major train wreck. Regardless of the context, one thing that you can always count on is the ability to start over. No matter how severe of a setback you think you’ve suffered, you can always go back and start again.
A very common reason people give for letting go of their new habits or changing lifestyles is having a slip-up and then allowing it to turn to a spiral till they’re at the point of no return. It is primarily a result of being taught that mistakes are unforgivable. The conditioning makes us unforgiving towards ourselves and makes us less likely to try again once we perceive failure. Learn to forgive yourself. You must become gentle towards yourself and be accommodating of your humanity. Failing once does not take away from your worth or potential as a person. You can still try a second, third, or even a hundredth time; try till you succeed. Learn not to be ashamed of the number of tries or the time it takes to achieve things. Some failures preceded every success in the world; they exist even if we don’t talk about them. Remember that and keep going regardless of how many times you have to start again.
An effective habit to help combat loss of confidence following a slip-up is admitting and acknowledging your mistakes. Don’t make excuses for what has happened. Identify the problem and find ways to avoid it in the future. Nothing in life is absolute, and it is a good idea to always remember that. Neither failure nor success is permanent, and you should always continue to try and achieve your goals. The more you focus on the solution, the better you’ll get at whatever you’re trying to do.
A lot of us lose confidence if we don’t immediately succeed at something. This mentality makes it difficult for us to learn things. Learn to give yourself time and space to learn things. If you put undue pressure to be perfect on yourself, you don’t leave space for error. No one is perfect, and this thought process only sets you up for failure. It is normal not to succeed immediately, so even if you slip up and miss your workout, or something similar, don’t fret and simply start again.
The most enormous disservice you can do yourself is not taking chances in life. You will fail at 100% of the tasks you don’t try. If you feel like one failure is enough to get you to give up entirely, then you’ll indeed fail. The only way not to fail is to keep trying despite falling off the bandwagon and remembering that things don’t always stay the same. In the future, you will remember this failure that seems so impossible to overcome right now and think of it fondly. Learn from your mistakes and shortcomings so that you can get better every single day.
It is normal to fail sometimes. It is perfectly alright for you to fall short of perfection sometimes. It is okay to fall off the wagon sometimes, just so long as you pick yourself up and start again. Keep your progress and your setbacks to yourself, and keep moving towards your goals quietly. Nobody needs to know your business except you and your loved ones. Not everyone will be happy or supportive about your journey, so it is your job to preserve your time and energy for people and things that aid in the betterment of your life. Not everyone deserves to be kept in the loop about your life. Once you realize this, you’ll find yourself being less anxious about your failure and successes.
The conclusion is that slipping up really isn’t as big of a deal as we make it out to be. You can always start again, so long as you keep your goal in sight. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to start from scratch. What matters is that you eventually get where you want to go. So, slip up, fall, and get back up again. The only thing you shouldn’t do is give up.read more
If you are like me, you must be having those days you call ‘bad days. Mondays have always been the victim of being a bad day. These are those days that you don’t even feel like waking up. And when you do, you don’t feel motivated to do anything, regardless of how important it is.
When this happens, you will probably end up procrastinating a lot, and sometimes you will hate everything or everyone around you. Many things can lead to being demotivated, these include; When you lose someone, or something you loved, e.g., job, divorce, death, etc.
Too much on your to-do list
Fear of failure
Lack of self-confidence
Poor time management
Burnout from jobs
Easy Ways to Be Motivated and Stay Motivated Every Day
The first step in solving any problem is to understand the root cause of the problem. The issues above are just but a few of the things that may demotivate you. It is essential to understand the root cause of your lack of motivation so that you don’t address the symptoms rather than the problem itself.
Once you know what is bringing you down, you can adequately find solutions. But don’t beat yourself so much when this happens. It is very ok to have some down days. We cannot function the same for all 365 days in a year. Some days we will feel low. How you deal with such days will determine how successful you become.
Here are some simple steps you can take to stay motivated every single day permanently:
1. Practice Positive Affirmation
Motivation is hugely determined by how we feel inside. It is the manifestation of how we think about ourselves. When you doubt your abilities or have little or no self-confidence in your abilities, you will most likely feel demotivated to handle your daily tasks.
Therefore, you should practice saying positive things to yourself. A simple daily mantra can help you get your motivation to handle tasks. For example, you can tell yourself, “I can do it.” When you say this repeatedly, you will automatically be optimistic about your abilities to handle the day’s activities.
2. Take Some Time Off
Burnout can kill your motivation. If you want to stay motivated for the entire day, you need to take some health breaks from your core activities. This will help your body and mind to re-charge. When you work for so long on a task, your productivity will reduce. This will compromise the quality of your output.
It is vital to take some time off and meditate alone. For your peace of mind, you can take a few minute’s walks in the forest or a quiet place. This connection with nature will revitalize your mind and help you stay motivated to handle what is thrown at you during the day.
3. Avoid Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the number one killer of motivation and the lead cause of procrastination and failure to tackle our daily tasks. We often put things to another day when we feel motivated to do it. This is a bad move because you may never feel motivated enough to do it.
Especially when you are doing what you don’t love, here, you should stop thinking of delivering a perfect job, but just do what you can do within the shortest time possible and get feedback on it. That will motivate you to work on your next tasks.
4. Divide Your Activities into Smaller Achievable Sub-tasks
How long is your to-do list? If it is longer than one A6 size page, then that is the source of your demotivation. Also, more significant tasks seem to demotivate people and make them feel lazy to handle them.
What you should do is to divide the bigger task into small sub-task. And just work on a few of the tasks during the day. Achieving these smaller goals will eventually make you feel good and motivate you to work on even more complex tasks. Prioritize your tasks from the most important and urgent to the least urgent. Then work on the most important ones first.
5. Take Action Immediately
Lastly, taking prompt action on your tasks at hand is the only way to stay motivated. When tasks are left untouched, they will pile and kill your spirit. Therefore, it is important to work on your to-do list first thing in the morning.
Also, work on the most challenging tasks, or those that you are likely to procrastinate. As Brian Tracy says in his book “Eat That Frog,”. We should consider the most challenging task as a frog. They should be eaten first. When you wake up, tackle the “frog” first. Don’t be confused by the tadpoles (small and easy tasks). Concentrate on the complicated tasks first. That way, you will be motivated the whole day because you will know that you have handled the most challenging problem of the day. This will motivate you to handle the other smaller jobs with enthusiasm.read more
Human beings are complex, social animals. We evolved to live in groups and form relationships within our communities. Most cues for these aspects of life come to us naturally. However, that doesn’t mean that forming and maintaining relationships is easy. While finding love is one of the most talked-about aspects of romance, it is the sustenance of said love that is most difficult.
There are various aspects of a successful relationship; there is the chemistry at the initial stages. It is impossible to find love without chemistry and so it is essential. Once you’re in the relationship, understanding each other comes into play. It is true that with chemistry, love, and understanding, relationships can be happy, healthy, and long. Life is not as straightforward and often there are a lot of external factors that affect relationships. More often than not these factors are out of the couples’ control and so it all comes down to being patient and taking the right decisions.
One such factor that can place a strain on relationships is mental illness. We live in a fast-paced world that doesn’t allow us enough time or energy to rest and recover. Mental illnesses are a part of our lives and there is no denying it. While there is a lot more understanding and insight into what these illnesses are and why they shouldn’t be stigmatized, it is still quite a challenge to navigate them in real life. Mental illnesses are hard on the people that are affected and so it is essential to get a diagnosis followed by help and support. It is very important for family, friends and partners to support people suffering from mental illnesses.
How does one ensure that they’re providing their partner with the right kind of help and support should they suffer from an illness? The most important thing is to know that the situation is central to your partner, not to you. However, it may be affecting your life, it affects their life more and they deserve your love, respect and support more than anything else. If you love your partner and are willing to do the work to make your relationship work, half the battle has been won. You can start by trying to find out more about your partner’s mental illness. Find out what they suffer from, talk to them about how they manage the illness, and see if there is anything you can do to help them manage their life better. Seek information about your partner’s diagnosis from reliable sources and avoid misinformation. You can also look into mental health organizations or support groups relevant to you and your partner. Knowing about the symptoms and implications of your partner’s diagnosis can help you create a good healing environment for them.
There are certain situations, however, where the best thing you can do for your partner is step back and let them have some space. You might want to be proactive in dealing with their diagnosis but it is a very personal matter, so being able to step back is just as important as being able to step up in this situation. Remember to treat your partner with respect and not disregard their opinion in how to handle their own diagnosis. While there are situations where your partner may need you to act on their behalf, this should not translate to you dictating their life. Taking decisions when your partner needs you to and taking decisions all the time are two very different things and should be kept separate.
Your partner may not always know that they’re suffering with a mental illness. They might start falling sick after you’ve been with them so keep an eye out for signs of them suffering. Don’t take any new conflicts in the relationship at surface level, see if there is a reason why your partner is stressed and upset. You need to be mindful in relationships and so be mindful of what you say and hear. Is there a change in the way your partner acts? Is there a change in their appetite? Has their lifestyle altered without explanation? Has your partner started to self-medicate with alcohol or nicotine? Keeping an eye on things like this can allow you to understand what state of mind your partner is in and if they need help from you and/or a professional. Medication and therapy go a long way when it comes to mental illness and an early diagnosis could spare your partner the pain of being misunderstood and untreated.
It is not easy to navigate life with a mental illness, remember that when with a partner struggling with one. The best thing you can do is communicate with your partner and find out what they need. The time following a diagnosis can be embarrassing for your partner. They may not feel like themselves for a while afterward so be mindful of their insecurities and doubts. If your partner asks for validation, give it to them because they need it. If your partner needs to be reassured of your feelings towards them; don’t take it personally. It is not a lack of trust in you but in themselves.
There will be times where you’ll do everything right and still not get the result you want and you have to learn to accept that. It takes time and patience to come up with a way of living that works for your partner’s healing path as well as your relationship. Be kind and patient. Remember that your partner is dealing with a lot of pressure and stress that may not even be related to you so don’t take things personally. The most important point when everything else has been taken care of is self-care. You need to keep yourself in good health and a pleasant mindset. Remember to take care of your own well-being as well because this can only work if both parties are moving towards good health. You cannot pour from an empty cup so continue to work on yourself as you work to ensure your partner’s healing and comfort.
Love is strong and overcomes a lot just as long as you put in sustained effort. Having a mental illness doesn’t have to be the end of the line for your love story.read more
Love is all-encompassing and omnipresent, it is omnipotent and eternal, but is it enough? Love is all you need, but is it all you’ll ever want? Love overcomes all but can humans do the same?
Cynical as those questions sound, they are actual thoughts that people have as they fall in and out of love. They are valid questions, however brash and upsetting they may sound.
We often look at love as a panacea but love is only the first step of the way to a relationship. The new romantics may think this thought absurd. They may argue that love is all there is to a relationship and a lot of people will agree. Surely love can’t just be an elective in the school of relationships? The seasoned players of the game of romance however will tell you that love truly is the last thing that matters when relationships end. You could truly love someone and not stand to be around them and you could not love someone at all and still stay with them for a lifetime. Everything beautiful about a relationship can fade over time and while the thought of this is incredibly scary, it is not at all outlandish. Life keeps flowing around you as you fall in love and slowly you settle into a routine. There are people who naturally maintain a balance between their work and their personal lives and there are others that don’t. It is often people that fall in the latter category that find their relationships losing their sparkle.
We sometimes become so comfortable with our partners that we forget to do the things that we once did to make them feel special. As the spark dulls in the relationship, problems arise and sometimes people end up separating as a consequence. The good thing in all of this is that this is not the only possible ending in this situation. Just because you’ve fallen into a routine doesn’t necessarily have to mean that your relationship has to lose its spark.
The very first thing to understand about relationships is the need for consistency. You cannot bring a certain energy to a relationship in the beginning and then slowly let the energies fade away as you become sure of your partner’s connection with you. Your partner has fallen in love with the person you are in the first few blissful days/weeks of the relationship, changing that once they’ve made a commitment to you will certainly lead to problems in the long run. There should be consistency in your efforts. The relationship may not always have the jitters and excitement of a first date but it should always have love and adoration.
There often comes a point in a relationship where couples might start to feel like they know everything about each other. There is a chance that this might be partially true. When you’ve spoken to someone so much and spend extended amounts of time with them, your lives start to merge. Your stories and experiences slowly merge till it becomes difficult to separate one from the other. Regardless of this merging of lives, people also continue to develop as individuals. It is important to keep track of this change. If you feel disconnected from your partner, then try and see if there is anything that has changed in their life. Have they picked up a new hobby/interest, is something new going on at work, are they simply feeling different for whatever reason? Ask these questions and take interest in your partner’s life. Everyone wants to be loved, appreciated, and seen in their entirety so make sure you’re keeping up with this evolution.
The emotional aspect of relationships is often rather complicated. It is difficult enough to take care of yourself and your mental health in today’s fast-paced world. It is even more difficult to keep track of the same with another person in the equation. Try and make sure you and your partner are emotionally and mentally healthy. Sometimes feeling disconnected from your partner may be a result of emotional pressure/ stress. Be mindful of the state your relationship is in emotionally and then see if it might be reasonable to seek external help. Try couples counseling if you and your partner aren’t sure how to approach and resolve the issue.
The stereotypical advice about bringing back the spark in a relationship may focus on acts of service or presents to make your partner re-engage in the relationship, but the reality is far from it. While it is important to do nice things for your partner, it is not the cure-all. You absolutely should plan activities with your partner, get them a gift if you want to, and give them physical affection. However, these are things that people in healthy relationships normally do, so if you have reached a point where it isn’t coming naturally then it may be time to re-evaluate. Why aren’t you and your partner finding time for activities together? Is there a way to spend time together that can fit in with your schedules? If so, go ahead and do it. Not every date needs to be a high-effort event. Sometimes spending quality time with your partner can be as simple as staying in bed a little longer and talking to each other. You could make a nice little activity out of cooking a meal or doing the dishes. You could play some music and dance in the living room, go for a picnic or just take walks around the park. The possibilities are endless.
The relationship ultimately comes down to whether or not you enjoy the time spent with your partner. With the right person, anything could be interesting. You could just be sitting in a room together working on your own and it would still be a good experience. Anything is possible if two people are in love and willing to make things work. Ask yourself why you feel the lack of a spark in your relationship and then go from there. If there is love, you and your partner will surely find a way.read more
The instance of burnout among professionals and students has increased in recent years. The problem seemed to become more potent with the onset of the pandemic. In a world where we already had trouble separating our personal and professional lives, we couldn’t have possibly stood the test of a pandemic too.
We have always been advised against mixing our personal and professional lives, and we have almost always failed to do so. While it may seem easy enough to do, it is actually easier said than done. With the prevalence of the ‘Hustle’ culture and the widening gap between minimum and livable wages, the lines between your job and life are blurred beyond recognition.
On hearing this, one may think that they have set proper boundaries. You may even feel the same as you read this article, but have you really set these boundaries? Do you not check your emails and answer work-related calls and texts after work and on-off time? Do you not bring back baggage from work and find yourself seething about it hours later? Do you not end up working at home despite being off the clock? If so, then you certainly do not separate work from your personal life.
Being able to separate the two is indeed a privilege reserved for people who either can not work outside of their workspace or who can afford to refuse to say no without losing their jobs. However, you can do certain basic things to avoid blurring the lines more than they have been already.
The first thing to remember is that you work to live a good life, not the other way around. People often start believing that their work is the only important thing in their lives. I agree that your job is essential and that it is why you’re able to live the life you’ve always wanted. However, you mustn’t let it overpower your entire life. You should not feel guilty about taking time off or planning vacations. The capitalistic nature of our society makes people treat their jobs as the only important thing in life, so they often place work above all else. A very toxic trait that has been bred in the minds of working professionals today is the glorification of the workaholic life. People carry the workaholic tag like a badge of honor on their chest rather than a crippling weight on their backs. Amid messages promoting working yourself to the bone and putting hard, laborious work above efficiency, people lose sight of reality and start equating their burnout to success. Hard work is undoubtedly the key to success, but that does not in any way take away from the importance of being efficient; just because your way of working is difficult doesn’t mean that it is the best.
You must never stop exploring and learning as long as you’re able to. Many people seem to get so tied up with work that they forget to do things just for themselves. We’re so caught up in trying to earn money, and we attach monetary significance to everything. It is vital to continue to have hobbies and interests outside of your job. It isn’t necessary to be really good at something; you can learn something new from scratch. Join a club, attend a class, a writing workshop, a painting class, pottery, anything that suits your fancy. If you don’t want to go out, you can read, dance, sing, and write anything you like. If you don’t want a hobby, join a club, a walking club, hiking club, book club, or anything that makes you feel happy. The point is to know that there is no age where you should stop working on yourself and your happiness.
Overworking and work-related stress have long been a reason for unrest among families. We spend a large part of the day at work. Much of our time and energy goes into it, so it is only natural to carry some of that energy into our personal lives. It is impractical to ask people to be utterly indifferent to the circumstance at work. Human beings cannot be completely unaffected by their surroundings, so it is natural to be receptive to the highs and lows of work life. Often these things bleed slowly into our personal lives and lead to quarreling and disturbances. While it may not be possible not to discuss your work with your friends and family, it is a good idea to keep the conversations to a minimum. You can come home and express your distress over something that happened at work, and you can even ask for advice. What you should not do, is take out your frustrations on people who do not even know what is bothering you. Communication is the best weapon to combat almost every vice out there. If you can communicate your work-related frustrations to your family, everyone involved will better handle the situation at home.
You may know someone who tries all of this yet cannot succeed at leaving their work in the workplace. You might even be someone who doesn’t find it easy to separate the two. We are taught a lot of covertly toxic things about work while we’re growing. We are taught that if you do not succeed at one job, that you’re a failure. We are taught to waste our time trying to achieve impractical goals rather than learning to move onward and upward. We hear maxims like ‘Do or die,’ but we’re rarely taught how to handle anything other than success and stellar results. We carry all this to our workspace and then wonder why we have an unhealthy relationship with work. Few people have the opportunity to learn how to live their life and work at the same time. There is no shame in being unable to cope with the pressure of work. It is perfectly normal to struggle to cope with work, and if you ever need some help with it, you could always go to a life coach or a therapist. Ultimately, the most important thing is to remember and cherish your individuality and life. Yes, work is essential, and yes, a lot rides on it but not everything.
So plan your work around your life, not vice versa, and you should be golden.read more
You cannot avoid adversity in life. Even the most sheltered and privileged individuals find themselves in adverse conditions at some point or the other. Adversity is not convenient, and it often throws a wrench in your plans, but there is no way around this aspect of life. You have to accept that as a part of life and focus on the consequences of these situations rather than worrying about the purpose. Some say that adversity is to be considered a test of strength, and they may be right. However, I feel like we glorify adversity, too, much like all else in life. Adversity is an inconvenience that you often cannot circumvent and should be treated as such. There have been various studies that have looked into the ways in which one can overcome adversity, the foremost being having resilience.
You must remember that not every single inconvenience in life is going to be the reason life ends. It is natural for things to go wrong from time to time, and you must accept that as soon as you identify a problem. Remember that you have been through difficult situations before, and you’ll go through more of them in the future. You are strong enough to deal with whatever has been sent your way. That is not to say that you need to deal with adversity alone. Talk to your friends and family. Acknowledge and accept their help because you are not alone in your situation. More often than not, we start to take pride in how little help we ask for, but no one gets a medal for doing things the hard way. You will not receive one either. Make your life easy by asking for and accepting help when necessary.
The second thing to focus on is your surroundings. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you. Your surroundings can affect your mood as well as your response to adversity. You are vulnerable in times of adversity, so the effect is even more pronounced. The right guidance at the right time. People who accept mistakes and understand how they are an essential part of life Supportive people who favor your success. While your surroundings are greatly influenced by the people around you, it is also dependent on your own mindset. Write about your feelings, and make sure you check any negative thoughts you might be having. Keep track of how you feel and how you’re responding to your surroundings. Do not indulge in self-loathing and try to be reflective instead. Understand your situation after recovering from its initial shock and move on from it when you’re comfortable doing so. Accept the situation and start to look for ways to solve your problem. It might seem like a herculean task, but the best thing to do in times of adversity is to get busy. Put your energy into making things better, and you’ll thank yourself once the situation has been resolved. In the midst of all this, do not forget to express your feelings through your writing. Eventually, you’ll be able to track your progress over time, allowing you to remember that no matter how bad things get, you can always make it through.
The modern world is full of wonderful technology, which makes our lives easier, but it is not without its limitations. One major limitation is the introduction of one more aspect of life for us to worry about. This could be anything from your social media presence to the inability to regulate how available you want to be to the people contacting you. While one may deal with these reasonably well in good times, it may not be as easy to do so in difficult times. Take a break from technology and social media in whatever capacity suits you. This ties in with the fact that you are the most important person in your life. Prioritize taking care of yourself before you take care of others. Try to take nature walks or sit in the fresh air if it is possible for you. Research shows that outdoor activities and immersion in nature reduce stress, so try to get some sunlight every day and follow your body’s natural circadian rhythm to allow for recovery.
Life has strange ways of teaching you lessons you don’t realize you need. It is important to remember to keep your eyes and mind in times of adversity to allow the learning to continue. You might see your relationships more clearly in your time of need. You can identify your own habits that may have been holding you back. Invest in your own development. Make time for yourself and make improvements to the quality of your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup, so even if you are more inclined to care for others, know that you can’t keep doing that if you’re not feeling happy and satisfied.
There will always be adversity in life, and you can be sure of that. However, none of these are situations you can not survive. The adversity can result from your actions, or it can be entirely out of your hand. The key is not to take it personally. Don’t waste your time wondering why you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Take this time to introspect and work on making sure you don’t have the same problem twice. Things will be out of your control sometimes. There will be times when the only thing to do will be to let go. In situations like that, learn to practice satisfaction and detachment. Don’t get comfortable in your misery, and it is easy to become complacent to your situation. The challenge is to take every adversity and face it head-on with the clear intention to overcome it. Know that you are capable, and you’ll surely succeed.read more